Never Give Up, Always Move Forward
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Everything Happens For A Reason: Making Merry and Christmas
Everything Happens For A Reason: Making Merry and Christmas: If you find yourself facing Christmas alone, December can be the longest month of all . If someone is missing from the celebrations this y...
Making Merry and Christmas
If you find yourself facing Christmas alone, December can be the longest month of all. If someone is missing from the celebrations this year, if a family member has been sick, or money worries are keeping you up at night it’s easy to want to echo the Grinch’s sentiment — “I must find a way to keep Christmas from coming!” There are some years when Christmas is more than we can do. But more often, going into hibernation for a month isn’t a realistic plan. Christmas is coming, with or without our permission. So how do you face the season when it doesn’t look the way it used to?
Those are kind of my sentiments which settled in my thoughts right after Thanksgiving. Endure it, get through it. I guess I'm not alone and don't get me wrong here, I have a loving family, kids who are jazzed about Christmas and all that this entails, like making cookies, shopping, decorating. I'm just trying to figure out how to get in the spirit and not make the holidays a checklist of things to do and get done. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be that person. I'm not depressed, can't label that on this feeling...it's something I can't put my finger on.
Someone has it worse than me, I'm sure..someone has a funeral to attend around Christmas, someone is visiting a family member in the hospital struggling through an illness, someone has absolutely nothing to put under the tree, someone is worried about how to pay the electric/gas bill, someone is figuring out Christmas, maybe alone, just like me. So, we are not so dissimilar in this world after all. These are the people I have in my thoughts this Christmas. It doesn't make me a better person to feel this way, it's just that I am struggling to find where I am at at this life of mine at 50, alone after spending most of my life married, raising a family. It could be worse, a lot worse.
When I look up at the night sky, I see the stars and contemplate the spaces between them. I realize, we are all connected in some way.
This quote came from my daughter. She has a beautiful soul and when she has the courage to reveal what is behind her thoughts, I am amazed at how beautiful she is without realizing it. Maybe that is part of the beauty. Her quote made me think, made me reach a little deeper into my own soul and realize that instead of focusing on my own "pity party", maybe I ought to think about someone else for once.
We are giving it back this year, the kids and I, to the best of our ability. We cannot touch everyone, but the stories of those we have met will never leave us. In a way, they have become a part of us, their struggle, the look on their faces. When you take the time to look, really look, you see things that you might not in a busy world of getting things done and rushing through the day. I'm glad I took the time.
So, I am thankful for my children, whom I love more than life itself. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful I have a job, an income, and this opportunity to start making the holidays full of traditions we make on our own.
If you are struggling this holiday season, I guess my message is that you are not alone. That someone, somewhere is saying a little prayer for you. That you are safe, that you have warmth, love and strength, like a blanket of love. I, too, have sat at a funeral during Christmas, I have been to the hospital with a family member who was ill, I have recognized an empty seat for someone who is in heaven, I have worried that there is enough in the bank account to cover the gas bill, I have felt the emptiness that comes from not having someone who loves me as a partner...these feelings become a part of me, life's experiences, and while they can make me sad, they can also make me stronger. It's a choice.
I choose to love like I've never been hurt. I choose to smile because my children are happy. I choose to be strong, because I can make that choice. So can you. Some people may mistake my kindness for my weakness, but it is no mistake...my kindness is my strength, it makes me who I am and in many ways, I'm just now figuring out who I really am.
Merry Christmas to you, wherever you are, and if you feel alone, just look up into the night sky and see the spaces between the stars...and realize that we are all truly connected in some way.
Those are kind of my sentiments which settled in my thoughts right after Thanksgiving. Endure it, get through it. I guess I'm not alone and don't get me wrong here, I have a loving family, kids who are jazzed about Christmas and all that this entails, like making cookies, shopping, decorating. I'm just trying to figure out how to get in the spirit and not make the holidays a checklist of things to do and get done. I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be that person. I'm not depressed, can't label that on this feeling...it's something I can't put my finger on.
Someone has it worse than me, I'm sure..someone has a funeral to attend around Christmas, someone is visiting a family member in the hospital struggling through an illness, someone has absolutely nothing to put under the tree, someone is worried about how to pay the electric/gas bill, someone is figuring out Christmas, maybe alone, just like me. So, we are not so dissimilar in this world after all. These are the people I have in my thoughts this Christmas. It doesn't make me a better person to feel this way, it's just that I am struggling to find where I am at at this life of mine at 50, alone after spending most of my life married, raising a family. It could be worse, a lot worse.
When I look up at the night sky, I see the stars and contemplate the spaces between them. I realize, we are all connected in some way.
This quote came from my daughter. She has a beautiful soul and when she has the courage to reveal what is behind her thoughts, I am amazed at how beautiful she is without realizing it. Maybe that is part of the beauty. Her quote made me think, made me reach a little deeper into my own soul and realize that instead of focusing on my own "pity party", maybe I ought to think about someone else for once.
We are giving it back this year, the kids and I, to the best of our ability. We cannot touch everyone, but the stories of those we have met will never leave us. In a way, they have become a part of us, their struggle, the look on their faces. When you take the time to look, really look, you see things that you might not in a busy world of getting things done and rushing through the day. I'm glad I took the time.
So, I am thankful for my children, whom I love more than life itself. I'm thankful for my family. I'm thankful I have a job, an income, and this opportunity to start making the holidays full of traditions we make on our own.
If you are struggling this holiday season, I guess my message is that you are not alone. That someone, somewhere is saying a little prayer for you. That you are safe, that you have warmth, love and strength, like a blanket of love. I, too, have sat at a funeral during Christmas, I have been to the hospital with a family member who was ill, I have recognized an empty seat for someone who is in heaven, I have worried that there is enough in the bank account to cover the gas bill, I have felt the emptiness that comes from not having someone who loves me as a partner...these feelings become a part of me, life's experiences, and while they can make me sad, they can also make me stronger. It's a choice.
I choose to love like I've never been hurt. I choose to smile because my children are happy. I choose to be strong, because I can make that choice. So can you. Some people may mistake my kindness for my weakness, but it is no mistake...my kindness is my strength, it makes me who I am and in many ways, I'm just now figuring out who I really am.
Merry Christmas to you, wherever you are, and if you feel alone, just look up into the night sky and see the spaces between the stars...and realize that we are all truly connected in some way.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
Everything Happens For A Reason: Reblogging a guy's blog...because it's important
Everything Happens For A Reason: Reblogging a guy's blog...because it's important: Read this because this is the blog I read from a husband who gets it...it's just too late. If you're too lazy to click the "...
Reblogging a guy's blog...because it's important
Read this because this is the blog I read from a husband who gets it...it's just too late. If you're too lazy to click the "read this" link, here's an excerpt...pardon the blatent use of this guy's thoughts, but they are too good not to quote:
I stumbled upon this blog..it's really good. I give this guy a huge amount of credit, because he admits his short-comings, failed marriage and why it failed. You can read it yourself. I wish someone cared that much about me but not in a "pity party way"...it's just figuring all this out.
It made me cry, because it's too good, too late, and by the time you realize this, you are reflecting back on it.
Why are all relationships doomed to being one dimensional why can't we say what we want anymore?
In my case, I saw this happening, felt it, lived it, made excuses for it, right up to the point where I lost myself in the process of keeping someone else way too important, and he didn't appreciate the price tag that came with it. That's when you shut down, you stop caring. You start sleeping in another room, dreaming of another life....what happened?
Someone has to step up to the plate and take charge.....he thinks...she's gonna stay forever and suck it up, make excuses, live a lesser life, pay the bills, take care of the kids, work harder for no reason and not be appreciated for any of it. Where is it written that the wife takes all the responsibility? She's thinking...where did he go? The once vibrant, hard working, lovable man full of everything she believed in? Is this how it's really supposed to be? No...it's note and he is gone..left her a long time ago, but forgot to change his physical address.
I think this blog really hits home. Make no mistake, I don't want you to be a statistic like me. So, go home, put your arms around your wife, hug her, kiss her with passion, ask her how her day was and the butterflies you felt, many years ago, they will come back..they never left...you just made your wife an integral part of our life.
You see, there is someone out there who would love you, passionately, to the moon and back again a gazillion times, but she didn't walk through the first three decades of your life, you go home to comfortable, the expected, anticipated routines of normal life and this is where real love is at.
Me? I'm looking for a guy who recognizes this, don't care if he has kids, just want to be loved by a decent guy who loves his children, his family and takes care of them as such...probably the most important quality in a guy. I want to spoon next to him at night, safe in the knowledge that this is the only space worth occupying, and I'm the luckiest girl on earth to have that space. I want to roll over on him, hair tossled, no make-up, and find the sweetest spot on earth underneath me..because I love the guy, with everything I am. Instead of working all weekend, I want to lay on the couch and watch re-runs of Gunsmoke and Bonanza...much better than hiding in the business I create to hide from what I miss in life. I want to make eggs and bacon on Sunday morning with pancakes that come with me in his T-shirt. You see, this guy, who would love me, would know what makes me happy, sees through to my soul with ease, loves me like crazy and wouldn't share me with anyone...yes, that's my kinda guy.
So, to the guy who wrote the shitty husbands vol 1, 2, 3 and 4...I hope you find her and thanks for pointing out what I lived with, and what I won't live without anymore.
Happily.Ever.After....
Care about the things that she cares about—NOT because you give a shit about how her hair color didn’t turn out like she wanted or what color she painted her accent nail or whether she’s wearing new shoes or why she chose to carry that particular purse or handbag that night. Not because you like talking about the same things as her, because maybe you don’t.
That’s okay.
Care about the things she cares about BECAUSE she cares about them. That’s the reason to care. That’s the reason it matters.
Because these things matter to her.
This applies to her hobbies. Her hopes and dreams. Her career. Her passions and interests. Her stories about her friends or family or coworkers that maybe you don’t really want to listen to.
Fortify your relationship by doing the little things. Every day.
Do that, and there will be an every day.
I stumbled upon this blog..it's really good. I give this guy a huge amount of credit, because he admits his short-comings, failed marriage and why it failed. You can read it yourself. I wish someone cared that much about me but not in a "pity party way"...it's just figuring all this out.
It made me cry, because it's too good, too late, and by the time you realize this, you are reflecting back on it.
Why are all relationships doomed to being one dimensional why can't we say what we want anymore?
In my case, I saw this happening, felt it, lived it, made excuses for it, right up to the point where I lost myself in the process of keeping someone else way too important, and he didn't appreciate the price tag that came with it. That's when you shut down, you stop caring. You start sleeping in another room, dreaming of another life....what happened?
Someone has to step up to the plate and take charge.....he thinks...she's gonna stay forever and suck it up, make excuses, live a lesser life, pay the bills, take care of the kids, work harder for no reason and not be appreciated for any of it. Where is it written that the wife takes all the responsibility? She's thinking...where did he go? The once vibrant, hard working, lovable man full of everything she believed in? Is this how it's really supposed to be? No...it's note and he is gone..left her a long time ago, but forgot to change his physical address.
I think this blog really hits home. Make no mistake, I don't want you to be a statistic like me. So, go home, put your arms around your wife, hug her, kiss her with passion, ask her how her day was and the butterflies you felt, many years ago, they will come back..they never left...you just made your wife an integral part of our life.
You see, there is someone out there who would love you, passionately, to the moon and back again a gazillion times, but she didn't walk through the first three decades of your life, you go home to comfortable, the expected, anticipated routines of normal life and this is where real love is at.
Me? I'm looking for a guy who recognizes this, don't care if he has kids, just want to be loved by a decent guy who loves his children, his family and takes care of them as such...probably the most important quality in a guy. I want to spoon next to him at night, safe in the knowledge that this is the only space worth occupying, and I'm the luckiest girl on earth to have that space. I want to roll over on him, hair tossled, no make-up, and find the sweetest spot on earth underneath me..because I love the guy, with everything I am. Instead of working all weekend, I want to lay on the couch and watch re-runs of Gunsmoke and Bonanza...much better than hiding in the business I create to hide from what I miss in life. I want to make eggs and bacon on Sunday morning with pancakes that come with me in his T-shirt. You see, this guy, who would love me, would know what makes me happy, sees through to my soul with ease, loves me like crazy and wouldn't share me with anyone...yes, that's my kinda guy.
So, to the guy who wrote the shitty husbands vol 1, 2, 3 and 4...I hope you find her and thanks for pointing out what I lived with, and what I won't live without anymore.
Happily.Ever.After....
Friday, December 20, 2013
2014 - My Quest For 51 First Dates
If you have seen the Drew Barrymore movie, 50 First Dates, then you know, in the movie, she has amnesia and experiences each date with the same person as the "first date." Not to take anything away from this movie, I changed the number to 51.
Once you have gotten to the point where well meaning friends have run out of cute "possibilities" to match you up with, you're going to have to try a new venue for dates. That brings online dating into the picture and an entirely separate blog. Anyway, back to "51 and counting"...if you want to date with no end result in mind, well think of it like this...sailing on Columbus' ship a week before spotting the New World..if you knew the end of the story, you'd know the only thing to do is go forward..but since you don't, you're just one kind of pissed off rowdy sailor chomping at the bit to throw someone overboard.
I have lots of girlfriends with tons of advice...like "don't focus on the looks, focus on compatibility" or "look for men who want a long term relationship instead of those who are just..well, looking." The results of that, at least for me, have been boredom interspersed with a little humor.
So, for me..dating for just the sake of dating..well, I've got re-runs to watch on television, hair to blow dry and reality t.v. shows that I've already seen once or twice. Sitting with random strangers over food/drink really does leave me uninspired. AND, it is always food and drink..I mean, why doesn't anybody want to play a round of Just Dance on the WII or a round of ping pong (I'm going to do some profile revisions and start requesting these).
Anyway, #51 was "Buzz" - the name should really say it all. Not his real name, a nickname. So, Buzz was the unfortunate player in my ambivalence on a Saturday night. On paper - well the perfect match. In real life..a little short at 5' 8", since on a good day, I am minimum 5' 10", with any kind of a heel 6". Add to that the fetish I have always had "looking-up-at-a-tall guy", well, I really had to focus on what's really important in life or so I told myself...anyway, there are always flats at Target, right?
Nobody wants to talk on the phone anymore, it is "chat" or "text." However, breaking this rule, he was actually nice, kinda funny, smart sounding, in tune with current events and that kind of appealed to the "snob wannabe in me". So, against my golden rule, I started to kinda get excited...I had a date, a real, official date. I even mentioned it on Facebook...breaking another golden rule.
So, #51, Saturday date night arrives and we meet at Applebee's for drinks and dinner. I don't want to be too unkind about his appearance since it's really not a deal-breaker), but let's just mention that based on photos, I was expecting a version of Clive Owen or a younger version Harrison Ford...what I got was a short, chunky version of Philip Seymour Hoffman...add to that, he kept making statements about carrying "a few extra pounds" or how he is "taller in his other shoes"...I hated that it mattered to me, of all unfair double-standards, like a politician trying to get all the "uglies" out of the way at the starting gate, plus I never like to be judgemental...I'm probably carrying a few extra pounds for Pete's sake. But, it mattered to me. There, I said it. Guilty. I hate it that dating is uncovering some of the lesser aspects of my nature.
We ordered drinks, small talk for an hour, ordered another drink, ordered an appetizer...at least I'm out socializing..right? Clearly, this guy liked me saying "You're so sexy and smart." and, my favorite "I love how you pronounce the words when you order off the menu." Okay, are you kidding me? Really? There is absolutely no guide book for dealing with this type of man, tripping-over-himself-to-impress-me, like me. Sooooo....let me get this right, you really like me and you're telling me so? Like, two hours after we've met? I must admit, this made me slightly uneasy, like in the next moment he would show me an appendectomy scar.
Halfway through the appetizer, something got caught in his throat..and he started coughing. At that point, conversation was quite limited, people were staring and he kept coughing...coughing, coughing, until he produced what my kids call a lougie (something between a booger and phlegm all balled together which is spit out). Yep, he spit it out, right in front of me. Now, I'm queasy. This isn't the end of the story...once he coughs up the phlegm he pulls out a pack of Marlboro Red's and says..."I'm just going to step outside and cop a smoke." I looked around for a camera crew for the American Lung Association, filming a commercial, warning against the dangers of smoking.
While #51 is outside for what seemed an eternity, I dug out a $50 dollar bill and motioned for the waitress to pay the tab.
Lesson in Date #51 - bad men are scary, but nice men are absolutely terrifying!! He was nice enough when we left, asking if he could call me to see if I got home and if we could go on another date. I just smiled and said...maybe. Gutless on my part, I admit it. Anyway...what do you do when there is absolutely zero spark...negatory on the chemistry...no identifiable "butterflies"...or anything near it. All I could think was...it cost me $20.00 to have my hair flat-ironed. Oh well. Gotta work on that. Perhaps, if I just stick with this process, the day will come when I see land..like Christopher Columbus.
Once you have gotten to the point where well meaning friends have run out of cute "possibilities" to match you up with, you're going to have to try a new venue for dates. That brings online dating into the picture and an entirely separate blog. Anyway, back to "51 and counting"...if you want to date with no end result in mind, well think of it like this...sailing on Columbus' ship a week before spotting the New World..if you knew the end of the story, you'd know the only thing to do is go forward..but since you don't, you're just one kind of pissed off rowdy sailor chomping at the bit to throw someone overboard.
I have lots of girlfriends with tons of advice...like "don't focus on the looks, focus on compatibility" or "look for men who want a long term relationship instead of those who are just..well, looking." The results of that, at least for me, have been boredom interspersed with a little humor.
So, for me..dating for just the sake of dating..well, I've got re-runs to watch on television, hair to blow dry and reality t.v. shows that I've already seen once or twice. Sitting with random strangers over food/drink really does leave me uninspired. AND, it is always food and drink..I mean, why doesn't anybody want to play a round of Just Dance on the WII or a round of ping pong (I'm going to do some profile revisions and start requesting these).
Anyway, #51 was "Buzz" - the name should really say it all. Not his real name, a nickname. So, Buzz was the unfortunate player in my ambivalence on a Saturday night. On paper - well the perfect match. In real life..a little short at 5' 8", since on a good day, I am minimum 5' 10", with any kind of a heel 6". Add to that the fetish I have always had "looking-up-at-a-tall guy", well, I really had to focus on what's really important in life or so I told myself...anyway, there are always flats at Target, right?
Nobody wants to talk on the phone anymore, it is "chat" or "text." However, breaking this rule, he was actually nice, kinda funny, smart sounding, in tune with current events and that kind of appealed to the "snob wannabe in me". So, against my golden rule, I started to kinda get excited...I had a date, a real, official date. I even mentioned it on Facebook...breaking another golden rule.
So, #51, Saturday date night arrives and we meet at Applebee's for drinks and dinner. I don't want to be too unkind about his appearance since it's really not a deal-breaker), but let's just mention that based on photos, I was expecting a version of Clive Owen or a younger version Harrison Ford...what I got was a short, chunky version of Philip Seymour Hoffman...add to that, he kept making statements about carrying "a few extra pounds" or how he is "taller in his other shoes"...I hated that it mattered to me, of all unfair double-standards, like a politician trying to get all the "uglies" out of the way at the starting gate, plus I never like to be judgemental...I'm probably carrying a few extra pounds for Pete's sake. But, it mattered to me. There, I said it. Guilty. I hate it that dating is uncovering some of the lesser aspects of my nature.
We ordered drinks, small talk for an hour, ordered another drink, ordered an appetizer...at least I'm out socializing..right? Clearly, this guy liked me saying "You're so sexy and smart." and, my favorite "I love how you pronounce the words when you order off the menu." Okay, are you kidding me? Really? There is absolutely no guide book for dealing with this type of man, tripping-over-himself-to-impress-me, like me. Sooooo....let me get this right, you really like me and you're telling me so? Like, two hours after we've met? I must admit, this made me slightly uneasy, like in the next moment he would show me an appendectomy scar.
Halfway through the appetizer, something got caught in his throat..and he started coughing. At that point, conversation was quite limited, people were staring and he kept coughing...coughing, coughing, until he produced what my kids call a lougie (something between a booger and phlegm all balled together which is spit out). Yep, he spit it out, right in front of me. Now, I'm queasy. This isn't the end of the story...once he coughs up the phlegm he pulls out a pack of Marlboro Red's and says..."I'm just going to step outside and cop a smoke." I looked around for a camera crew for the American Lung Association, filming a commercial, warning against the dangers of smoking.
While #51 is outside for what seemed an eternity, I dug out a $50 dollar bill and motioned for the waitress to pay the tab.
Lesson in Date #51 - bad men are scary, but nice men are absolutely terrifying!! He was nice enough when we left, asking if he could call me to see if I got home and if we could go on another date. I just smiled and said...maybe. Gutless on my part, I admit it. Anyway...what do you do when there is absolutely zero spark...negatory on the chemistry...no identifiable "butterflies"...or anything near it. All I could think was...it cost me $20.00 to have my hair flat-ironed. Oh well. Gotta work on that. Perhaps, if I just stick with this process, the day will come when I see land..like Christopher Columbus.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Dating..Just When You Think You've Seen and Heard It All.. From The Trenches
Holiday drinks with a girlfriend of mine and the first thing out of her mouth is..."made any progress with dating?" I cringe, visibly. After the second Margherita, not my fave, but hers, she grabs my phone while I'm in the restroom and literally signs me up on Match.com. Good grief. I have had experience with a couple of blind dates, the first of which was a horrible disaster. Who am I kidding... the first and only one.
Someone, most likely a family member or well-meaning friend makes your blind date out to be a "Clive Owen" double and who can blame them, playing cupid is fun, I suppose. Unless you're me. Anyway, always meet in a public place - so Applebees it was and having only viewed one photograph, obviously almosts five years old, I didn't recognize the guy. Nice enough. Small talk, a cocktail with an umbrella on the table. Then, he starts coughing until he produces large amounts of phlegm. Yep. Yep. That did it. After some motherly concern, I was headed for an exit sign faster than you can leave a $50.00 to cover the tab and get the heck out.
Never, ever doing that again...nope. Not ever.
SO, I say this seriously. It's bad out there and if you're in a relationship, just stay right there if you can. Date night at the movies and dinner out...shamelessly boring, but great fun if you're with the right one. Anyway, here are some lines we laughed about over cocktails if you think you want to try online dating don't be surprised to hear any version of the following:
Someone, most likely a family member or well-meaning friend makes your blind date out to be a "Clive Owen" double and who can blame them, playing cupid is fun, I suppose. Unless you're me. Anyway, always meet in a public place - so Applebees it was and having only viewed one photograph, obviously almosts five years old, I didn't recognize the guy. Nice enough. Small talk, a cocktail with an umbrella on the table. Then, he starts coughing until he produces large amounts of phlegm. Yep. Yep. That did it. After some motherly concern, I was headed for an exit sign faster than you can leave a $50.00 to cover the tab and get the heck out.
Never, ever doing that again...nope. Not ever.
SO, I say this seriously. It's bad out there and if you're in a relationship, just stay right there if you can. Date night at the movies and dinner out...shamelessly boring, but great fun if you're with the right one. Anyway, here are some lines we laughed about over cocktails if you think you want to try online dating don't be surprised to hear any version of the following:
I
Here are some really good things NOT to say if you want my attention:"Hey..if you are slightly interested, let's move fast and see if there is a connection. I hope that does not sound to bad. i just thought of a sweet business idea and have limited time as of now. Thank you."
I don't get it? Is the guy doing an infomercial? Is his offer for a limited time only? I thought his next message might be something like: "If you act now, and be one of the first 10, you win a free blender!"
This is probably what this guy looks like in real life
Okay - the next one (maybe a fake account)..well probably a fake account because, this photo was tall, dark and handsome with a six pack and the age was 55.
"Your real purty, you have a real purty face. I'm not just saying this as a pick up line, I really mean it. I was looking at other profiles and I came upon yours, you made me stop and just stare at your picture! What is your phone number so we can see if there is chemistry between us and if this could lead to a beautiful relationship.
And then provided an actual phone number…I am actually really curious to know what this phone number leads to. Drunk texting fun anyone? In all seriousness, though, this number probably belongs to the Craigslist killer. Too bad this was the sweetest message I’ve gotten so far…
Here’s one that is to the point:
“Hey ya, How ya doin’ ? I bet you have been hitting on daily basis by the members of this website. I was wondering if you are up for one night stand type of thing. Since i am not really looking for something too serious, i decided to give a shot with this website. Oh well i hope we can talk soon;)”
This guy I broke the rule of no contact for because I had bust his balls for this horrible message. I sent him a confusing, possibly I would be interested but it was too ambiguous to tell message. Especially for someone this dumb. He ended up chatting me at one point and we had a long conversation about how booty calls work. Not surprisingly, I was the one providing the education on this… Once I had become bored, I promptly told him I would never take a booty call from online and blocked him.
This one sounds like we are discussing a business deal. It would make sense because he is 48…
“Hi, how are you?
I would like to chat with you.
Can we meet for coffee sometime within next couple of weeks?”
I would like to chat with you.
Can we meet for coffee sometime within next couple of weeks?”
I will tell him that I am booked for the next couple of weeks, but he could arrange something with my secretary possibly.
This one I don’t even know how to respond, so I didn’t…and of course he sent a second message:
“Hey beautiful, how are you? It’s so funny how the freezing morning makes you cuss at first with a toothbrush in your mouth at 6:30 a.m while it becomes your best friend with a warm sun up around noon time. Gotta love the Michigan winters, right? : )”
First of all, don’t start the message off with beautiful, it makes you sound like a douche. Second of all..WHAT THE EFF are you talking about??!!
Here is the “better attempt”:
“I’m sure work, friends, family, and all the other responsibilities must be keeping you busy. We’re living in a fast-paced crazy place called .....after all, right? Find your way for a quick minute and say hello sometime. It’ll be fun, I promise…I know the guy, he’s cool : )”
No, dumbass, I am not too busy to answer you, I just don’t want to. So please, don’t fool yourself.
Okay seriously, how is this even funny??
“So, what are the odds of a guy like you and a girl like me getting together?”
Don’t ever call me a dude. Period.
Here is an interesting approach if you’re an older gentleman:
“Any interest in slighter older, kind of interesting and adorable older man? 
i hope you’ll reply.”
i hope you’ll reply.”
And no, this did not work. Because he was 65.
HappyEnding says: “nice photos”. Seriously, if you’re screen name starts with ‘happyending” don’t pass go, don’t collect $200, just go straight to the Korean massage shack down the road.
Here is an interesting way to engage a conversation:
“What do you like to talk about? Recently there were some tornadoes in the Midwest and South. Should people donate money to the American Red Cross? Or should FEMA take responsibility for aiding the survivors? Or should each individual pull themselves up by their own boot straps and fend for their lives? How much aid is appropriate?”
Like I said...if you're in a relationship, stay in it. Unless you're like me, and I'm possibly going to be the oldest single person in history using online dating and way past my 50 first dates. Maybe it will make for a good blog someday.Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Everything Happens For A Reason: Kindness, Love and The Holidays.
Everything Happens For A Reason: Kindness, Love and The Holidays.: I can tell, it's the holiday season..mostly because I have already dug my feet in the ground and gotten real busy trying to make other ...
Kindness, Love and The Holidays.
I can tell, it's the holiday season..mostly because I have already dug my feet in the ground and gotten real busy trying to make other people feel loved. I do this for two reasons. The first, is that my Dad always told me when I was feeling "blue" to get busy making someone else's life better, so I wouldn't dwell on whatever was on my mind. The second reason is because he was completely right, being the curve in someone's smile is totally awesome.
This is my first Christmas alone..I mean really alone (but, it is completely different to be alone, than to live with someone and feel desolate). So, I have one-upped myself to a better place on that premise alone. Maybe you can relate, maybe not.
My point is, that during the holidays, when your life is changing for whatever reason, you stop taking for granted the things that really mean something. I saw pictures on Facebook of a happy couple I know at the downtown tree lighting ceremony posting tons of "selfies". I love happy people. I can't help but think they figured out the magic behind that happiness.
This is my first Christmas alone..I mean really alone (but, it is completely different to be alone, than to live with someone and feel desolate). So, I have one-upped myself to a better place on that premise alone. Maybe you can relate, maybe not.
My point is, that during the holidays, when your life is changing for whatever reason, you stop taking for granted the things that really mean something. I saw pictures on Facebook of a happy couple I know at the downtown tree lighting ceremony posting tons of "selfies". I love happy people. I can't help but think they figured out the magic behind that happiness.
I'm on a journey to figure out the answers myself. Nobody but me can do this. While I have not figured it out, I do figure out "bits and pieces" along the way. So, here's what I have at this very moment..and I think it's really worth something!
Write this down and remind yourself of it daily: Love is NOT a feeling. Feelings are fickle. They change and come and go with such frequency, it’s impossible to build a foundation on them. Infatuation is a feeling. Lust is a feeling. Love is a CHOICE. A decision. It’s a verb. It’s an action. It’s something you wake up every day and choose to do. The sooner we can get every human being on the planet to understand this, then the closer we will be to the magic behind it. Love each other, love your kids, your parents, your friends and family. Extend love to those who need it the most, but definitely won't ask for it. It is in loving those who are by their definition, at their most "unlovable" that we really see true human spirit lift.
Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas, Faith, Family, Love...however, you say it, as long as you really feel it!
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