Everything Happens For A Reason: 33 Things Totally Free

Everything Happens For A Reason: 33 Things Totally Free: I often think, those things which we enjoy the most, truly appreciate the most (and sometimes to forget to appreciate the most) are actuall...

33 Things Totally Free

I often think, those things which we enjoy the most, truly appreciate the most (and sometimes to forget to appreciate the most) are actually free.

1.  The way you make someone feel.

2.  The moment you realize, you are not as alone as you think you are.

3.  When someone loves you at your most unlovable times.

4.  The smile on your child's face, like a moonbeam.

5.  The moment, after it's gone, and not regretting it.

6.  Affecting people without realizing it.

7.  Hope.  Hope.  Hope.

8.  Faith.  Restoring someone's Faith.

9.  Waking up to have another day and another chance to get it right.

10.  A second chance (at anything).

11.  A hug and being hugged tight.

12.  A text, phone call or message of love.

13.  Being missed by someone.

14.  That the sun comes up in the morning without fail as does the moon.

15.  Tolerance.

16.  Comfortable silences amongst those you love.

17.  Butterflies - seen or felt.

18.  Holding a hand.

19.  Trust.

20.  When someone warms your car up in below zero temps.

21.  Having the courage to think for yourself.

22.  Forgiving yourself or someone.

23. If you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only love -understanding the Paradox (Mother Teresa).

24. The heat of the sun on your bare skin.

25.  Helping someone else find a piece of Joy in their life.

26.  Just being there when you are needed.

27.  The way the words "I love you Mommie" sound as they tumble off of my daughter's lips..

28.  Saying what you mean, and meaning what you say....

29.  Random acts of kindness.

30.  Not holding back.

31.  Your time.  Your time when you are busy.

32.  Listening.

33.  The sound of someone's familiar voice.

A second chance

It is hard to be, the person you want me to be
I am eternally grateful you see
that you have chosen me

So, I've let go of the past and set it free
It holds only the best memories
A time and space in my life that was real for me
Definitely not a thing meant to be

There is something sweet about your persistence to be a "we"
That is to say, a you and me
I'm not used to that kind of freedom to be
A part of someone proud to be with me
The past so hard on my self esteem

In spite of that, you have been there for me
Calling you and me a "we" way before it was agreeable to me

So, I hope that you choose to try on for size
A courtship with me that is not built on demise
But rather a friendship we try on for size

I thank you for being by my side
For understanding the trials of long distance
  And time you must bide
Before I could ever be someone's bride

I'm willing to try, you by my side
Until such a time when either should decide
That we were not meant to be by each other's side.

For now, I will try to be a good friend
As you seek so hard to be able to bend
To my silly feelings rooted in the past
Connected to a soul to which there was an end

My judgement was poor
But the lesson was rich
If you act like a bitch
You will never make him switch

With that I have learned to choose comfort over love
That was the message from way above
To keep our souls in heaven regardless of love

So now I am yours and we can sign our cards "we"
For there is no better place than with you sitting next to me.

Everything Happens For A Reason: Love, Loved, Everyone Just Wants to Be Loved

Everything Happens For A Reason: Love, Loved, Everyone Just Wants to Be Loved: Before you can grow up, you must fall in love three times.  Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship ...

Love, Loved, Everyone Just Wants to Be Loved

Before you can grow up, you must fall in love three times.  Once you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever, quite possibly.  This will teach you who your true friends are and the fine line between friendship and more.  Once you must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect and that you should never be treated as any less than you deserve.  And once you must fall in love with someone exactly like you.  To teach you who you are and who you want to be.  Once you have lived through all of that, you learn that the people who care about you most are the ones that you hurt and the ones you hurt are the ones you needed the most.  Most of all, you start to learn that love is only a concept and not something that can be defined.  It is different to each person and the sum total of their experiences. You learn to understand that everyone only just wants to be loved.

Aside from the pain, suffering and hard choices you have to find the things you love and run to them.  That which does not kill you makes you stronger?  I really don't think so.  I think strength comes from the good things and the people in your life who are always there.  These things, you hold onto when your spirit is broken, when your'e hurt, when you're not the most lovable.

Like most sensitive souls, you already know you are sensitive.  You soak up the moods of those you care for like a sponge.  There's nothing wrong with being sensitive.  Truth is, most times I feel too much, every word, every action and every energy often goes straight to my heart.  I often wear it.

Who has time for casual love?   I prefer the fierce kind, where your heart is on display and everything you have is handed over in passion like a gift, hoping that the gift is unwrapped gently. If you have to wonder if you have passion, cross the word wonder out and it simply becomes a question, not an answer.

Truth is, the more intimately you know someone, regardless of who, the more clearly you see their flaws. That's just how it's meant to be, you know.  You get to see just how flawed we all really are when you're sick, tired, frustrated, mad, hurt or broken or under pressure.  In those moments, you know you still love when things are ugly.  Love is patient.  Love is kind.  Love is deliberate.  Love is hard.  Love is pain and sometimes sacrifice.  It's seeing the darkness in another and refusing budge.

I don't pretend to know what love is for everyone, but I can tell you what is is to me.  It comes from trusting them to know all of these things that make you, you.  Often beautiful, sometimes not and including the things you may be ashamed of.  It's feeling comfortable and safe, and still feeling weak in the knees when you're in the same room.  It's about trust and respect.  It doesn't matter who it is when we speak of love, it matters simply that we love.  Isn't that what life is all about?  Doing all things in love?

Letting Go of Crappy

Some relationships are incredibly pernicious. We often develop relationships out of convenience, without considering the traits necessary to build a successful bond with another person—important traits like unwavering support and shared trust and loving encouragement.

When a relationship is birthed out of convenience it is bound to fail. We need more than a person’s physical presence to maintain a meaningful connection, but we routinely keep people around because … well, simply because they’re already around.

It’s easy to develop a connection with someone who’s always there and we don't always choose our family members, coworkers.  Sometimes, it's not always a choice as to who will be in your life.  It takes work to keep any relationship going..your time, your care.  When the "core" of a relationship changes, no matter who it is, it is time to reevaluate. 

We’ve all held on to someone who didn’t deserve to be there for whatever reason.  The memories hurt, you wonder if it was real or if you convinced yourself it was real. Regardless, what is left is a box full of memories or a situation that occurred and you file it somewhere in the back of your soul, pieces of that memory slide out now and again and the pang or pain you feel in your gut is all too real.    

Sometimes, we hold people on a pedestal.  And we can't put people on a pedestal...because they don't belong there.  These people poop, burp, fart, have their good points and bad points just like every human.  Take the blinders off.  And if you remember, you probably thought most of these things were once endearing, cute or funny.

Fortunately, regardless of the situation - it may be fixable to a degree and maybe it's not. 

First, you can attempt to fix the relationship. This is obviously the preferable solution (albeit not always possible or worthwhile). People change over time, and so do relationships. You can change how your relationship works—be it marriage, friendship, or family—without completely ditching the relationship. 

Sit down with the person who’s draining the vitality from your life and explain to them what must change in order for your relationship to work. Explain that you need them to be more supportive, that you need them to participate in your growth, that they are important to you, but that you are important too.  Explain that you’re not attempting to change them as a person; you simply want to change how your relationship works.

Finally, ask them what they’d like to change about the relationship. Ask them how you can add more value. Listen attentively, act accordingly.

Or, if you’re unable to change the relationship, you can end it altogether. This is incredibly difficult, but it applies to any relationship: family, friends, lovers, coworkers, acquaintances. If someone is doing nothing but draining your life, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell them “This relationship is no longer right for me, so I must end it—I must move on.”  Remember, if they truly valued you, loved you, cared for you...well, you would know it.  People don't go around destroying what they love.

It’s OK to move on. You owe it to yourself to move on. You owe it to yourself to be happy with the relationships you have. You are in control.

Moving on is sometimes the only way to develop new, empowering relationships. Starting anew, empty-handed and full-hearted, you can build fresher, stronger, more supportive relationships—important relationships that allow you to have fun and be happy and contribute beyond yourself. These are the meaningful relationships we all need.

It’s also important to do your part. You too must add value to the relationship. Not value in the form of gifts or monetary value, but by showing up every day and rigorously exhibiting how much you care, demonstrating your love through consistent actions, continually going out of your way to help the other person grow.

You see, both people must do their part to grow the relationship. Only then will both of you be satisfied with the relationship you’ve built.

Black Tights and Leggings

Since the 1980s I have loved black tights.  With the re-emergence of leggings, well, need I say more? I'm certainly not a fashion expert, but these are a few of my favorite, favorite posts to sites relative to fashion.

Black Leggings with a white shirt.  Classic feel, classic look, takes you anywhere - wrap around a denim jacket and the look is complete. Hides all those imperfections in our butt, legs and thighs.

Black Sheer Tights  Great for that black business skirt and those days where meetings, interviews take place.  They have the sheerness of nylons and the comfort of black. Even when your'e cleaning the bathroom.

Black opaque nylons  Great with a skirt, boots, sweater dress..you name it, they provide the warmth of a legging and the comfort and ease of tights.  New this year are boot leg warmers, boot tights - and don't forget to grab a pair of the over the knee socks for added warmth at football games.

Black tights with Doc Martins and a pair of shorts..  Shorts?   That fashion sense dates back to the 80s for sure; however, yes, a pair of corduroy shorts in any color, black shorts, jean shorts...it all works with tights.

Black tights cover imperfections perfectly.  I love a pair of great jeans, but tights are dressy enough and casual enough to take their place effortlessly.

Black tights are great for lounging.  Need I say more.. yep..time for a pedicure STAT

Black Patterned Tights..  All over the place this year in knit, cable knit patterns, polka dot..you name it..they are available and I love them.

I don't own any at this time - photo courtesy of Victoria Chan...

So enjoy your winter months with a pair of black tights and black leggings..remember, they dress up any outfit and simply paired with a great pair of shoes, pumps, clogs, boots, Martins...you are all ready to get up and enjoy the holidays.

This is one of my girlfriend's - when we both wore ...black tights at a Thirty One Party...

And, of course, if black tights and leggings are not your thing..this comment is pretty appropriate