January marks the one year anniversary of my independence and the start of a new life, on my own, at 51-years of age. My children and I have lived a year of "firsts", by taking them one at a time and simply by setting some new traditions along the way. It's hard to be a single mom and hold down the fort, all the while, dealing with what I call "ground zero issues" meaning simply, taking care of the day-to-day things that need tending, like laundry, repairs, grocery shopping, homework, etc. It is also time for me to crawl out of my "Rabbit Hole" as I like to put it, and put some things behind me solidly to move forward. My rabbit hole is a comfortable place, where I seek solace and try not to contemplate too far ahead in the future (overwhelming). I think, to move forward in life, one must always look over her shoulder to see where she has been to know where she is going in the future. As I "peek" out of my rabbit hole, I glance behind me, but step forward.
Glancing behind me, I recall that when my relationship was unraveling, I was literally walking on eggshells in many ways. A home where conflicts abounded, not so much verbally..no much worse than that..silently, living in a house built on resentment. Recognizing an untenable situation, the egg was cracked and there was no way to make it whole again, however, my path is still encumbered by a few pesky eggshells leftover. Clearly, this year was paved with that path of walking on those eggshells, as life is not "over-easy" (pardon the play on words).
Walking forward, I have decided to incubate a new egg, just for me. (what's with the eggs here?) Well, an egg is a "symbol" of new life and this is exactly what I need to create. I am past the delicate phase, or delicate shell and while I don't know what the path is going to include, this instant (and that is okay), a plan to nurture myself knowing that months or years from now I will look back on this phase of my life as hopeful instead of unknown.
I look back at our year of "firsts" and clearly, we were in uncharted territory (my children and I), but and this is a big BUT, our new path is going to be paved with hope instead of broken eggshells. I'm going to sweep the floors to clear a path out of the rabbit hole, which provided me great comfort and incubate a new me. When it's time, she will peck her way out of the shell and emerge into her new life, knowing exactly where she is going to fly.
So, here's to a new year, and a good Egg.
Glancing behind me, I recall that when my relationship was unraveling, I was literally walking on eggshells in many ways. A home where conflicts abounded, not so much verbally..no much worse than that..silently, living in a house built on resentment. Recognizing an untenable situation, the egg was cracked and there was no way to make it whole again, however, my path is still encumbered by a few pesky eggshells leftover. Clearly, this year was paved with that path of walking on those eggshells, as life is not "over-easy" (pardon the play on words).
Walking forward, I have decided to incubate a new egg, just for me. (what's with the eggs here?) Well, an egg is a "symbol" of new life and this is exactly what I need to create. I am past the delicate phase, or delicate shell and while I don't know what the path is going to include, this instant (and that is okay), a plan to nurture myself knowing that months or years from now I will look back on this phase of my life as hopeful instead of unknown.
I look back at our year of "firsts" and clearly, we were in uncharted territory (my children and I), but and this is a big BUT, our new path is going to be paved with hope instead of broken eggshells. I'm going to sweep the floors to clear a path out of the rabbit hole, which provided me great comfort and incubate a new me. When it's time, she will peck her way out of the shell and emerge into her new life, knowing exactly where she is going to fly.
So, here's to a new year, and a good Egg.
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