Never Give Up, Always Move Forward
Saturday, September 17, 2011
School Year
Hi my name is Elizabeth Benson and I'm Cheryl Bensons daughter.I am in 3rd grade and I am eight years old almost turning nine in 3 months!I am going to try out for Volleyball and I hope I can make the team because it seems really fun!!!!!At the Later Elemantry school thats were I go in tecnolghy our tec teacher we got to use Apple computers and he took really cry funny pictures:).And feel free to write any comments or anything like that and read my story.True story :)
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Everything Happens For A Reason: Soul Searching..My Daughter's Heart
Everything Happens For A Reason: Soul Searching..My Daughter's Heart: "There is a lot going on in the world around us lately with the earthquake and Tsunami that devastated Japan. The moon was the closest to th..."
Soul Searching..My Daughter's Heart
There is a lot going on in the world around us lately with the earthquake and Tsunami that devastated Japan. The moon was the closest to the earth that it had been in some 18 years last night if you had a chance to step outside and take a look. I've always thought the moon was the one thing that kept all of us a little closer on this big earth we share. No matter where we are, it's the one thing that always remains the same for all of us and that brings us all a little closer. I guess we were all just a little closer last night. Some say the moon being closer was a possible cause for erratic weather phenomenon or changes in the techtonic plates in Japan that caused the Tsunami. I'm not a scientist, so I cannot answer that question but it made me think or shall I say it made me do a little soul searching.
The most important of life's battles are the ones we fight daily in the chambers of the soul. I think that is so very true.
The innermost workings of my daughter's heart always pulls life into a little clearer perspective for me. The trueness of her spirit and her love are so genunine. Sometimes, we listen so hard for God's guidance in our world of troubles that we don't hear the messages in front of us. Here's what she says:
My heart makes me think of love.
Love makes me think of God
God reminds me of Jesus
Heaven makes me think of angels
Angels bring us love
Love is important
God Loves us
God loves everyone
God is the love in my heart
The most important of life's battles are the ones we fight daily in the chambers of the soul. I think that is so very true.
The innermost workings of my daughter's heart always pulls life into a little clearer perspective for me. The trueness of her spirit and her love are so genunine. Sometimes, we listen so hard for God's guidance in our world of troubles that we don't hear the messages in front of us. Here's what she says:
My heart makes me think of love.
Love makes me think of God
God reminds me of Jesus
Heaven makes me think of angels
Angels bring us love
Love is important
God Loves us
God loves everyone
God is the love in my heart
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Everything Happens For A Reason: Trust and Your Supplier in the Industry
Everything Happens For A Reason: Trust and Your Supplier in the Industry: "In today's economy, working with a supplier you trust is not only neccessary, it is mandatory. The relationships we nuture in business, par..."
Trust and Your Supplier in the Industry
In today's economy, working with a supplier you trust is not only neccessary, it is mandatory. The relationships we nuture in business, particularly those where we work with a multitude of distributors is based on trust.
We're not going to be effective if our distributors aren't happy with our products and services. We need to focus on being a part of their solution and not part of the problem.
Secondly, we must foster trust between our products and their business relationships. At all times, we respect our distributor relationships and need to convey our vision of providing products and services that enhance their own individual relationships with business partners. In this way, we become a "building block" to success.
Keeping our business partners/clients informed of new techology and allowing them to get to know us on a personal basis allows us to build relationships based on trust, information and a need to "strive to thrive" for both of us. Mutually benefical relationships are necessary in this tough economy to survive.
One thing I have realized in manufacturing, is that if we wish to thrive, then we must extend this enthusiasm and trust to our customers as well. Linking hands with our suppliers to be successful in the marketplace is one way we can all get ahead. To take a quote from Gulf Crane that I particularly like: "We're all in this together."
We're not going to be effective if our distributors aren't happy with our products and services. We need to focus on being a part of their solution and not part of the problem.
Secondly, we must foster trust between our products and their business relationships. At all times, we respect our distributor relationships and need to convey our vision of providing products and services that enhance their own individual relationships with business partners. In this way, we become a "building block" to success.
Keeping our business partners/clients informed of new techology and allowing them to get to know us on a personal basis allows us to build relationships based on trust, information and a need to "strive to thrive" for both of us. Mutually benefical relationships are necessary in this tough economy to survive.
One thing I have realized in manufacturing, is that if we wish to thrive, then we must extend this enthusiasm and trust to our customers as well. Linking hands with our suppliers to be successful in the marketplace is one way we can all get ahead. To take a quote from Gulf Crane that I particularly like: "We're all in this together."
Friday, February 25, 2011
Mattawan Alum Brings Hope For The Families Of Three Missing Women From 1992
A nearly 18-year-old mystery may be put to rest soon with the help of a vision from Mattawan's Ken Young. Stacy McCall and Suzie Streeter graduated from Kickapoo High School June 6, 1992. At the time, Stacy was 18 and Suzie just 19-years of age. Apparently, they planned to celebrate graduation with friends; however, the next morning, the girls (along with their mother, Sherrill Levitt) had vanished. A full investigation ensued and the three were never found, leaving the case classified as an "unsolved mystery."
If you went to Mattawan Schools in the 1980's, you will undoubtedly remember Michelle Bowman. Michelle was killed in an unfortunate accident while waiting for the bus to go to school one foggy morning. A rememberance of Michelle can still be found in the halls of Mattawan High School to this date. Ken Young decided, on April 10, 1986, while on leave from the Army, to visit Michelle's grave. He didn't have access to a car and decided to walk the round trip to Mount Ever-Rest Memorial Park in Kalamazoo. Ken told me "It was a perfect day and my walk took me past the area where she used to live." He also told me "When I did this, I honored her grave and this opened some doors. One of them was my vision with Stacy McCall on November 15th, 1998. Without Michelle, my vision with Stacy never takes place."
In Ken's vision with Stacy McCall "everything that she has shown me has either come true or is in the process of coming true. It took time to understand the vision. In April 2002, I figured it out. If I interpreted the vision correctly, the women were buried at Cox Hospital South in Springfield, MO. I wrote the Springfield Police Department in 2002 and again in 2004 telling them that I believed the women were buried there based on my vision with Stacy McCall."
Ken met reporter Kathee Baird in February of 2006 and shared his story with her as well. Kathee is a crime reporter with a blog she maintains and has the story on her website as well. During this time they worked together to sort out Ken's vision and the facts of the case, they received an offer by a man named Tim Gray. He claimed that he had a prototype GPR type of technology that could find human remains. Ken and Kathy took a chance and made arrangments for tim to come to Springfield to do some scans. He was to arrive in Springfield on April 17th. A week earlier, on April 10th, 2006, Ken visited Michelle's grave. He had not been there in 20-years. Kathee and Ken talked on their cell phones for several minutes during his visit to Michelle's grave. A week later, Tim Gray's instruments detected three anomalies at the Cox Hospital South Parking Garage. Unfortunately, this was not documented on video at the time.
A couple of months later, reporter Kathee Baird contacted Rick Norland to come down and do another GPR scan and this time, to have the event videotaped. He confirmed that the results were consistent with three graves. The video link is on You Tube with several other related videos on the disappearance of the three women from Kansas City, MO.
Despite the evidence consistent with anomalies under the parking structure, the police went on air and stated there would be no further investigation (February 2007). This past summer, Springfield, MO got another Police Chief, Paul Williams who has re-opened the case with new interest. Currently, Williams is considering bringing in national cold case investigators to bring peace to a family in Missouri who has had no answers to the whereabouts of these three women in the past 18-years.
The case of the "Three Missing Women" will be featured on an upcoming television program "Disappeared" on March 7th on the Investigation Discovery Channel.
If you, or anyone you know has any information on the disappearance of these three women please contact CRIMESTOPPERS at 417-869-TIPS (8477) or the Springfield Police Department at 417-864-1810.
While this story may not be about Ken Young, if his vision of Stacy McCall while paying respects at former classmate, Michelle Bowman's gravesite is correct, I think it certainly lends itself to the fact that everything really does happen for a reason and also opens up a few more questions in life. I guess you have to ask yourself if you believe in destiny or if people just get lucky?
LINKS:
http://www.kansascity.com/2011/02/19/2668202/springfields-new-police-chief.html
If you went to Mattawan Schools in the 1980's, you will undoubtedly remember Michelle Bowman. Michelle was killed in an unfortunate accident while waiting for the bus to go to school one foggy morning. A rememberance of Michelle can still be found in the halls of Mattawan High School to this date. Ken Young decided, on April 10, 1986, while on leave from the Army, to visit Michelle's grave. He didn't have access to a car and decided to walk the round trip to Mount Ever-Rest Memorial Park in Kalamazoo. Ken told me "It was a perfect day and my walk took me past the area where she used to live." He also told me "When I did this, I honored her grave and this opened some doors. One of them was my vision with Stacy McCall on November 15th, 1998. Without Michelle, my vision with Stacy never takes place."
In Ken's vision with Stacy McCall "everything that she has shown me has either come true or is in the process of coming true. It took time to understand the vision. In April 2002, I figured it out. If I interpreted the vision correctly, the women were buried at Cox Hospital South in Springfield, MO. I wrote the Springfield Police Department in 2002 and again in 2004 telling them that I believed the women were buried there based on my vision with Stacy McCall."
Ken met reporter Kathee Baird in February of 2006 and shared his story with her as well. Kathee is a crime reporter with a blog she maintains and has the story on her website as well. During this time they worked together to sort out Ken's vision and the facts of the case, they received an offer by a man named Tim Gray. He claimed that he had a prototype GPR type of technology that could find human remains. Ken and Kathy took a chance and made arrangments for tim to come to Springfield to do some scans. He was to arrive in Springfield on April 17th. A week earlier, on April 10th, 2006, Ken visited Michelle's grave. He had not been there in 20-years. Kathee and Ken talked on their cell phones for several minutes during his visit to Michelle's grave. A week later, Tim Gray's instruments detected three anomalies at the Cox Hospital South Parking Garage. Unfortunately, this was not documented on video at the time.
A couple of months later, reporter Kathee Baird contacted Rick Norland to come down and do another GPR scan and this time, to have the event videotaped. He confirmed that the results were consistent with three graves. The video link is on You Tube with several other related videos on the disappearance of the three women from Kansas City, MO.
Despite the evidence consistent with anomalies under the parking structure, the police went on air and stated there would be no further investigation (February 2007). This past summer, Springfield, MO got another Police Chief, Paul Williams who has re-opened the case with new interest. Currently, Williams is considering bringing in national cold case investigators to bring peace to a family in Missouri who has had no answers to the whereabouts of these three women in the past 18-years.
The case of the "Three Missing Women" will be featured on an upcoming television program "Disappeared" on March 7th on the Investigation Discovery Channel.
If you, or anyone you know has any information on the disappearance of these three women please contact CRIMESTOPPERS at 417-869-TIPS (8477) or the Springfield Police Department at 417-864-1810.
While this story may not be about Ken Young, if his vision of Stacy McCall while paying respects at former classmate, Michelle Bowman's gravesite is correct, I think it certainly lends itself to the fact that everything really does happen for a reason and also opens up a few more questions in life. I guess you have to ask yourself if you believe in destiny or if people just get lucky?
LINKS:
http://www.kansascity.com/2011/02/19/2668202/springfields-new-police-chief.html
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Just When The Caterpillar Thought Her Life Was Over, She Became A Butterfly
This is a recurring problem for me....there are days when it seems no matter what I do or how hard I try or work I always fall just a little short of my own expectations. Coming in "fourth place" in my own life may not sound so bad, but it's hard for me to swallow.
I know, it sounds like my own pity party or self-sabotage in a way. Sometimes I give up too easy or end up being a little too hard on myself, but here's the little mantra going on in my head on those days.. "no matter what I do, the house isn't clean enough, I always forget to pay that one bill, spend a little too much on the grocery shopping, don't cook enough of the right food, never caught up on laundry, bathrooms."
The list goes on because I also worry I'm not reading enough to my kids or don't love them enough and will screw them up beyond repair. I worry that they are in too many activities or not enough, that they don't play outside enough or have enough down time. I worry that I'm too lenient or too hard on them.
Sometimes, I beat myself up because I work too much, spend too much time reading on the computer, don't eat enough or eat too much, don't exercise enough. I try to be a good friend but I worry that I don't say the right thing, remember important dates or that I'm not a good enough listener, talk too much or not enough.
Then, there's the personal "not good enough", you know, the little inventory we do on ourselves thinking my hair is out of style, my boobs are too small, my butt is too big, I have more freckles than I used to and I'm just a little fashion clumsy.
Clearly, if that's not enough, there are even days when I hate myself because even though I'm trying so hard to become someone different, someone healthy and someone authentic and whole, I seem to fall short of even that.
So, then, I read this little quote..."Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she became a butterfly." And I thought to myself, maybe those are the days we are actually growing and changing into the "butterfly" or, rather, our true authentic selves. I think every woman has a day or two where she can't see the true beauty of who she is and, in general, we tend to be very hard on ourselves. After all, we're not supposed to be perfect and learning to accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses creates a feeling of peace within.
I know, it sounds like my own pity party or self-sabotage in a way. Sometimes I give up too easy or end up being a little too hard on myself, but here's the little mantra going on in my head on those days.. "no matter what I do, the house isn't clean enough, I always forget to pay that one bill, spend a little too much on the grocery shopping, don't cook enough of the right food, never caught up on laundry, bathrooms."
The list goes on because I also worry I'm not reading enough to my kids or don't love them enough and will screw them up beyond repair. I worry that they are in too many activities or not enough, that they don't play outside enough or have enough down time. I worry that I'm too lenient or too hard on them.
Sometimes, I beat myself up because I work too much, spend too much time reading on the computer, don't eat enough or eat too much, don't exercise enough. I try to be a good friend but I worry that I don't say the right thing, remember important dates or that I'm not a good enough listener, talk too much or not enough.
Then, there's the personal "not good enough", you know, the little inventory we do on ourselves thinking my hair is out of style, my boobs are too small, my butt is too big, I have more freckles than I used to and I'm just a little fashion clumsy.
Clearly, if that's not enough, there are even days when I hate myself because even though I'm trying so hard to become someone different, someone healthy and someone authentic and whole, I seem to fall short of even that.
So, then, I read this little quote..."Just when the caterpillar thought her life was over, she became a butterfly." And I thought to myself, maybe those are the days we are actually growing and changing into the "butterfly" or, rather, our true authentic selves. I think every woman has a day or two where she can't see the true beauty of who she is and, in general, we tend to be very hard on ourselves. After all, we're not supposed to be perfect and learning to accept yourself with all your strengths and weaknesses creates a feeling of peace within.
Friday, February 11, 2011
Everything Happens For A Reason: V-Day Approaches...Valentine's Day
Everything Happens For A Reason: V-Day Approaches...Valentine's Day: "If you're like me, we'll probably bump into one another at Walmart buying a box or two of Valentine's cards for school. I'm lucky enou..."
V-Day Approaches...Valentine's Day
If you're like me, we'll probably bump into one another at Walmart buying a box or two of Valentine's cards for school. I'm lucky enough to still have an eight year old in the second grade who truly loves to decorate cards for her teacher, friends, classmates...and me! I'm also completely sold and participating in the chocolate part of this holiday - after all, chocolate is my personal "Prozac", if a little bit makes me feel better, then a whole lot is going to make me feel fabulous, right? Forget about the calories, I'm just going to over-indulge in my favorite holiday.
Surrounding Valentine's Day are a few other holidays we can slip in as well which benefit me personally, such as today, Friday, February 11th which is National Hug A Tall Person Day. Yes, I am tall at 5-feet 10 1/2 inches or so without shoes, I'm all legs and this is the one day I can celebrate that instead of being frustrated in trying on pants that are way too short. So, if you run into me at school, the grocery store, etc., I'm lovin the hugs today.
I was reading David Mott's "Single Dad blog" which I stumbled upon in "stumble upon". I like his writing because he cuts right into the meat of real life. He was sent a website to review for the February 13th Holiday "Love Your Mistress Day". I laughed so hard when I read his review. He couldn't support the site, but he did find immense humor in it and I recommend you read it just for the humor. In short, it's a website that hooks up women with a "sugar daddy" and they have classifieds that detail what or whom, rather, they are looking for.. (i.e., single mom looking for help paying the rent, seeks sugar daddy).
Here's the link below, click on it for a few laughs and a good read:Surrounding Valentine's Day are a few other holidays we can slip in as well which benefit me personally, such as today, Friday, February 11th which is National Hug A Tall Person Day. Yes, I am tall at 5-feet 10 1/2 inches or so without shoes, I'm all legs and this is the one day I can celebrate that instead of being frustrated in trying on pants that are way too short. So, if you run into me at school, the grocery store, etc., I'm lovin the hugs today.
I was reading David Mott's "Single Dad blog" which I stumbled upon in "stumble upon". I like his writing because he cuts right into the meat of real life. He was sent a website to review for the February 13th Holiday "Love Your Mistress Day". I laughed so hard when I read his review. He couldn't support the site, but he did find immense humor in it and I recommend you read it just for the humor. In short, it's a website that hooks up women with a "sugar daddy" and they have classifieds that detail what or whom, rather, they are looking for.. (i.e., single mom looking for help paying the rent, seeks sugar daddy).
Happy Valentine's Day to all of my friends and loved ones. Hugs to all you tall people today. Don't forget, the most precious and priceless gift of all is love, patience, tolerance and forgiveness = unconditional love.
Peace
Monday, February 7, 2011
Everything Happens For A Reason: A Courageous Spirit
Everything Happens For A Reason: A Courageous Spirit: "Let's face it, life is complicated, but if we take just a moment to examine our lives and consider all of the tough situations we have been ..."
A Courageous Spirit
Let's face it, life is complicated, but if we take just a moment to examine our lives and consider all of the tough situations we have been through...well, you're here today reading this so that makes you a survivor! Sometimes, I wonder who it is I really am and where I belong. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this at one time or another and, yes, at times I feel a little envious when I read about people who go on some fantastic spiritual pilgrimage to get in touch with their spiritual self. I think these feelings are good, they remind me that there is something else I am meant to do, like I am not yet whole.
Each of us battles our own feelings at one time or another of low self-esteem, worthlessness or insignificance and it's time to change that. Remember, those times when you feel "blue" are fleeting and you have to remind yourself of these few words... "this, too, shall pass.."
In the meantime, getting in touch with some basics of our human consciousness might help spark a little fuel for the "soul". There are three basic parts of our "consciousness" emotions that govern our instincts which, on a daily basis, we are so busy, we probably don't recognize it.
Take for instance, a young child, if you watch a younger child you see they "live in the moment". Their priorities are much different than an adult's (of course). However, remembering to get in touch with your inner child reminds us of the most basic level of consciousness where the "flight or fight" reflex exists or where you store your will to survive. So, this is your "basic self" or your subconscious instincts/intuition.
Then, there's the conscious self, the center of logic and reason which, of course, we need to survive. The key is to getting our conscious self and our subconscious self to work together a little more harmoniously. In this way, we become more open to change while still maintaining our creativity.
The higher self is a radiant aspect of our consciousness. This is where our "true voice" resides that taps into our ultimate spiritual self. The "higher self" is always with us, you just have to learn to hear that little voice in your head that most of us have spent a lifetime tuning out from childhood. The higher self is fully aware, full of selfless courage, wisdom and love. Not enough people are aware of our higher selves and those who are may not be in touch with the other parts of their conscious and subconscious...getting all three to work together helps us to exist with powerful leverage attaining greater awareness and inspiration in our lives that we are all a part of.
Remember, the knowledge that you have a plan for your life and that you are working toward achieving something meaningful is the easiest way to feel good about yourself and about your life. Eliminate obstacles in your way or personal insecurities that put you in a "victim" mentality in life which ultimately robs you of the pleasure of achieving your goals.
If you don't have a plan for your own life, you're going to be a part of someone else's life. So, your challenge for this week is...what can I do today or this week to make my life better?
Let me know, I'll share in your achievements!
Each of us battles our own feelings at one time or another of low self-esteem, worthlessness or insignificance and it's time to change that. Remember, those times when you feel "blue" are fleeting and you have to remind yourself of these few words... "this, too, shall pass.."
In the meantime, getting in touch with some basics of our human consciousness might help spark a little fuel for the "soul". There are three basic parts of our "consciousness" emotions that govern our instincts which, on a daily basis, we are so busy, we probably don't recognize it.
Take for instance, a young child, if you watch a younger child you see they "live in the moment". Their priorities are much different than an adult's (of course). However, remembering to get in touch with your inner child reminds us of the most basic level of consciousness where the "flight or fight" reflex exists or where you store your will to survive. So, this is your "basic self" or your subconscious instincts/intuition.
Then, there's the conscious self, the center of logic and reason which, of course, we need to survive. The key is to getting our conscious self and our subconscious self to work together a little more harmoniously. In this way, we become more open to change while still maintaining our creativity.
The higher self is a radiant aspect of our consciousness. This is where our "true voice" resides that taps into our ultimate spiritual self. The "higher self" is always with us, you just have to learn to hear that little voice in your head that most of us have spent a lifetime tuning out from childhood. The higher self is fully aware, full of selfless courage, wisdom and love. Not enough people are aware of our higher selves and those who are may not be in touch with the other parts of their conscious and subconscious...getting all three to work together helps us to exist with powerful leverage attaining greater awareness and inspiration in our lives that we are all a part of.
Remember, the knowledge that you have a plan for your life and that you are working toward achieving something meaningful is the easiest way to feel good about yourself and about your life. Eliminate obstacles in your way or personal insecurities that put you in a "victim" mentality in life which ultimately robs you of the pleasure of achieving your goals.
If you don't have a plan for your own life, you're going to be a part of someone else's life. So, your challenge for this week is...what can I do today or this week to make my life better?
Let me know, I'll share in your achievements!
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Everything Happens For A Reason: The "Heart" Of A Woman
Everything Happens For A Reason: The "Heart" Of A Woman: "This past Friday was the American Heart Association's 'Go Red For Women' campaign in support of healthy hearts and prevention of heart disea..."
The "Heart" Of A Woman
This past Friday was the American Heart Association's "Go Red For Women" campaign in support of healthy hearts and prevention of heart disease and stroke. http://www.goredforwomen.org/index.aspx. This is a great time to take inventory of not only our heart health, but the fact that our "hearts" are a very integral part of what a woman is. Here is a message that was sent to me some time ago, but I think it really captures a woman's "heart"
Women have strengths that amaze men
They bear hardships and carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous
They fight for what they believe in
They stand up to injustice
They don't take "no" for an answer, when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have
They go to the doctor with a child or a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when friends get an award.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet are strong when they know there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors
They will drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show just how much they care aabout you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
However, if they have one flaw..it is that a woman forgets her own worth.
February is a great month to start thinking about prevention of heart disease and stroke, eating a healthy diet, exercising and watching our vital signs. As women, we need to take time to take care of our own health which is not an easy thing when we are juggling busy work schedules, our children's soccer and piano practice, snow days, caring for our aging parents, it's hard to squeeze this in, but I don't need to tell you that, you already know it.
A woman's heart is far more than the clinical pathophysiology, her heart is who she is and everyone she touches, every day, knows that. So, taking care of our "hearts", feeling good about who we are, valuing ourselves is also just as important. Each day presents a new opportunity for you to create a better life and achieve your heart's desires. What one thing do you do daily to feel good about yourself? What actions do you take to change your life for the better? Today, you have a fresh chance to take care of your physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
Be nice to yourself and replace your "self-talk" with positive statements. Love what you see in the mirror. Instead of focusing on the "imperfections" focus on your best features. Support other women because when you support women, you are supporting yourself. When we stop worrying about being "perfect", following our passions and being true to ourselves we become more in touch with the authenticity of our genuine strengths that make us the nuturing caretakers we are, every day.
Women have strengths that amaze men
They bear hardships and carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous
They fight for what they believe in
They stand up to injustice
They don't take "no" for an answer, when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have
They go to the doctor with a child or a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when friends get an award.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet are strong when they know there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors
They will drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show just how much they care aabout you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.
However, if they have one flaw..it is that a woman forgets her own worth.
February is a great month to start thinking about prevention of heart disease and stroke, eating a healthy diet, exercising and watching our vital signs. As women, we need to take time to take care of our own health which is not an easy thing when we are juggling busy work schedules, our children's soccer and piano practice, snow days, caring for our aging parents, it's hard to squeeze this in, but I don't need to tell you that, you already know it.
A woman's heart is far more than the clinical pathophysiology, her heart is who she is and everyone she touches, every day, knows that. So, taking care of our "hearts", feeling good about who we are, valuing ourselves is also just as important. Each day presents a new opportunity for you to create a better life and achieve your heart's desires. What one thing do you do daily to feel good about yourself? What actions do you take to change your life for the better? Today, you have a fresh chance to take care of your physical, emotional and spiritual needs.
Be nice to yourself and replace your "self-talk" with positive statements. Love what you see in the mirror. Instead of focusing on the "imperfections" focus on your best features. Support other women because when you support women, you are supporting yourself. When we stop worrying about being "perfect", following our passions and being true to ourselves we become more in touch with the authenticity of our genuine strengths that make us the nuturing caretakers we are, every day.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Everything Happens For A Reason: What is Heaven? Do You Believe in Near Death Expe...
Everything Happens For A Reason: What is Heaven? Do You Believe in Near Death Expe...: "'What is heaven?' A good question posed by my 8-year-old and which definitely multiplied the frown lines on my forehead two-fold strug..."
What is Heaven? Do You Believe in Near Death Experiences?
"What is heaven?" A good question posed by my 8-year-old and which definitely multiplied the frown lines on my forehead two-fold struggling for an answer. All I came up with, at that time, was a vague "It's the most peaceful place, where there is no pain or suffering, only joy and love." That answer may have been good enough to tide over that conversation, but it did set me to thinking as I am sure it has for all of you. It's a tough subject, and if we had an opportunity to visit heaven like mile-marker on the freeway, maybe we'd have some concrete evidence to submit a definition to Wiki; however, that's simply not possible.
There is scientific evidence that speaks to near death experiences and conclusions drawn from that which land either on the "scientific side" (i.e., clinical documented reasons for our brain to emit synapses or signals that demistyfies what near death experiences are) OR, we simply choose to believe that those near death experiences are truly, indeed, a person's "glimpse" into a journey to...heaven.
I guess you have to ask yourself, which end of the spectrum you fall on? Do you believe that heaven exists or, that our brain simply sends out signals at the last moments of life that may "look like heaven"?
To be more specific, near death experiences are explained to be based on emotions (those feelings that virtually everyone has, but few understand). In this case, we focus on memory and brain processing and how emotions play a role in near death experiences. In case you are new to this subject matter, a near death experience is simply what a person haas experienced when they have died or experience imminent life threatening event and subsequently came back to life.
Many times, emotions operate on a subconscious level and we are only consciously aware of them by extreme situations (an operation of the pons, in the brain). During sleep or periods of unconsciousness, information is sent to portions of the cerebral cortex and saved (like the hard drive of your computer). A primary function of emotions in the cortex helps us to organize, store and access information in the brain.
If you saw the movie, "Dragonfly" with Kevin Costner, you already know that he and his wife were physicians in the same hospital. In the movie, Kevin Costner's wife had volunteered in a third-world country as a physician, and was presumed dead after an accident. Her pediatric patients on the oncology ward were repeatedly experiencing connections with her during periods of sleep, unconsciousness or imminent life-threatening events where they came back to life to pass this on to her husband..with a message. It's an interesting movie on many levels and leaves probably more questions than answers to the subject of near death experiences.
Here is a quote from one who experienced a near death event which I think is very true:
Yes, I understood from the experience that it's the love we feel when we're alive that
we take with us...the only regrets we have, are the love we hold back.
Each of us, as a human being, is a very, very special person. After all, we all begin life by winning the first race of our life... a race against more than 20 million other sperm cells. This, alone, means each of us is literally "one in a million." There is, therefore, more to humanity than meets the eye. Beyond our own visual reality, there exists a higher reality where our true self resides...it's not a mystery, it lies within each of us.
So, back to the question...where is heaven? Is it up in the sky somewhere? From the beginning of humanity, humans have searched for the answer to this question...movies have been made, songs written, books published...all of which suggest that searching for heaven is like searching for an illusion. Or is it? Maybe the answer is so easy to find, we just make the question so difficult?
Religious figures such as Jesus and Buddha help humanity understand that "love is the way to heaven" and that this "heaven is found within."
The religious consensus is that there exists a total of "10 realms" that make up the spirit world. Physicists, using some theory called "SuperString" calculate the universe is made up of 10-dimensional. They say these dimensions exist in the same space as the physical universe..like boxes within a box. Each individual has to draw their own conclusion on where heaven is, but I think those who have experienced near death certainly have a lot to say about the topic. Let me also say that not everyone who has experienced a near death experience has immediate recall of the experience. For whatever reason, it may not be remembered until years later if ever.
Experiencing a near death event is often referred to as a step into the spiritual condition we have been building within ourselves our entire life. It is a life of love that leads to heaven. Love is God's paradise for humanity and we can create this paradise from heaven, on Earth, within us if we learn to love one another.
Those who know me well know I talk about love and unconditional love often. I think there is a difference between simply "doing good deeds" and the amount of love we have the capacity to give. When we truly love...without hesitation or second thought, our thoughts and actions become one and more based on our true intentions. In most cases, in our daily lives, we don't focus, every day, on getting to the "core" of our souls.
When my step-father passed away, I had a vivid dream where he was in a place that had endless rooms of trophy mounts and comfortable chairs, with vibrant colors and huge doors. I suspect it was my subconscious on over-drive trying to place where he might be so far away from me. It struck me then, we are merely visitors on this Earth and that heaven is our real home. So far apart from each other, yet so close, in away in that the love of God, in heaven, is like the air we breathe on Earth.
Maybe, then, our goal should not be so much to identify where is heaven, but to bring heaven to Earth? Maybe there is a reason, too, why not everyone experiences a near death event. Perhaps too many glimpses of heaven might destroy our freedom.
There is scientific evidence that speaks to near death experiences and conclusions drawn from that which land either on the "scientific side" (i.e., clinical documented reasons for our brain to emit synapses or signals that demistyfies what near death experiences are) OR, we simply choose to believe that those near death experiences are truly, indeed, a person's "glimpse" into a journey to...heaven.
I guess you have to ask yourself, which end of the spectrum you fall on? Do you believe that heaven exists or, that our brain simply sends out signals at the last moments of life that may "look like heaven"?
To be more specific, near death experiences are explained to be based on emotions (those feelings that virtually everyone has, but few understand). In this case, we focus on memory and brain processing and how emotions play a role in near death experiences. In case you are new to this subject matter, a near death experience is simply what a person haas experienced when they have died or experience imminent life threatening event and subsequently came back to life.
Many times, emotions operate on a subconscious level and we are only consciously aware of them by extreme situations (an operation of the pons, in the brain). During sleep or periods of unconsciousness, information is sent to portions of the cerebral cortex and saved (like the hard drive of your computer). A primary function of emotions in the cortex helps us to organize, store and access information in the brain.
If you saw the movie, "Dragonfly" with Kevin Costner, you already know that he and his wife were physicians in the same hospital. In the movie, Kevin Costner's wife had volunteered in a third-world country as a physician, and was presumed dead after an accident. Her pediatric patients on the oncology ward were repeatedly experiencing connections with her during periods of sleep, unconsciousness or imminent life-threatening events where they came back to life to pass this on to her husband..with a message. It's an interesting movie on many levels and leaves probably more questions than answers to the subject of near death experiences.
Here is a quote from one who experienced a near death event which I think is very true:
Yes, I understood from the experience that it's the love we feel when we're alive that
we take with us...the only regrets we have, are the love we hold back.
Each of us, as a human being, is a very, very special person. After all, we all begin life by winning the first race of our life... a race against more than 20 million other sperm cells. This, alone, means each of us is literally "one in a million." There is, therefore, more to humanity than meets the eye. Beyond our own visual reality, there exists a higher reality where our true self resides...it's not a mystery, it lies within each of us.
So, back to the question...where is heaven? Is it up in the sky somewhere? From the beginning of humanity, humans have searched for the answer to this question...movies have been made, songs written, books published...all of which suggest that searching for heaven is like searching for an illusion. Or is it? Maybe the answer is so easy to find, we just make the question so difficult?
Religious figures such as Jesus and Buddha help humanity understand that "love is the way to heaven" and that this "heaven is found within."
The religious consensus is that there exists a total of "10 realms" that make up the spirit world. Physicists, using some theory called "SuperString" calculate the universe is made up of 10-dimensional. They say these dimensions exist in the same space as the physical universe..like boxes within a box. Each individual has to draw their own conclusion on where heaven is, but I think those who have experienced near death certainly have a lot to say about the topic. Let me also say that not everyone who has experienced a near death experience has immediate recall of the experience. For whatever reason, it may not be remembered until years later if ever.
Experiencing a near death event is often referred to as a step into the spiritual condition we have been building within ourselves our entire life. It is a life of love that leads to heaven. Love is God's paradise for humanity and we can create this paradise from heaven, on Earth, within us if we learn to love one another.
Those who know me well know I talk about love and unconditional love often. I think there is a difference between simply "doing good deeds" and the amount of love we have the capacity to give. When we truly love...without hesitation or second thought, our thoughts and actions become one and more based on our true intentions. In most cases, in our daily lives, we don't focus, every day, on getting to the "core" of our souls.
When my step-father passed away, I had a vivid dream where he was in a place that had endless rooms of trophy mounts and comfortable chairs, with vibrant colors and huge doors. I suspect it was my subconscious on over-drive trying to place where he might be so far away from me. It struck me then, we are merely visitors on this Earth and that heaven is our real home. So far apart from each other, yet so close, in away in that the love of God, in heaven, is like the air we breathe on Earth.
Maybe, then, our goal should not be so much to identify where is heaven, but to bring heaven to Earth? Maybe there is a reason, too, why not everyone experiences a near death event. Perhaps too many glimpses of heaven might destroy our freedom.
Everything Happens For A Reason: Five Reasons To Be A Parent Helper In Your Child's...
Everything Happens For A Reason: Five Reasons To Be A Parent Helper In Your Child's...: "Writing a blog for a couple of 'balancing the life of the working mother' sites, I write about the issues I have identified in my own life a..."
Five Reasons To Be A Parent Helper In Your Child's Classroom
Writing a blog for a couple of "balancing the life of the working mother" sites, I write about the issues I have identified in my own life and try to share them with other working mothers. One thing that stands out is that in today's society, parents (both mother, father and sometimes grandparents) are working hands on in our child's classroom. There are many levels or degrees of involvement we can choose as parents to be a parent helper. Our schedules and work committments may not always allow us the freedom to schedule a couple of hours in the classroom, but there are viable alternatives including volunteering for special parties/events, field trips, providing assistance with projects from home (helping the teacher schedule parent helpers, items to be brought into school), tracking Scholastic book orders, etc.
The first step is identifying what role you will be the most effective in according to your life. If you are lucky enough to have a grandparent that lives close by, this is also a very rewarding and purposeful role that a grandparent can participate in. If you're still a little uneasy or hesitating to participate, here are a few reasons to reconsider why being involved in your child's early education is important.
1. Time is the greatest gift of all. Remember, children are only young for a little while so enjoy this time while you can!
2. Parents will have a deeper understanding of what their children are experiencing in school by being present which translates into increased learning and developmental milestones.
3. Learning and academics are only one aspect of your child's education. Having direct classroom involvement provides a bird's eye view of how your child is interacting with classmates, making friends and tuning into their personal and social development.
4. Enjoy the "happiness" you give your child just by making your presence known. Consider this your "15 minutes of fame with your most loving fan" as you just made them the post popular kid in class. Bring a snack to share (if permitted..that's a whole separate blog these days), and your popularity may just be cemented into the Hall of Fame.
5. Revisit your childhood... Yes, that's exactly what I said! While cutting out construction paper "hearts" for Valentine's Day may not be matched to your college degree, how many of us can say we really had an opportunity to "color out of the lines" for a couple of hours? Enjoy your own time out from the real world of responsibilities.
Remember, whatever your level of involvement, to enjoy this shared experience with your child. I have immense respect for the many parents who volunteer their time tirelessly, who sit on PTA boards, have the time and patience to cut out superior Jello-Jigglers, and work diligently with my child on their day to be parent helper. Don't forget to smile and realize that, like childbirth, you probably won't remember the painful parts but only the good times you will have when you are there.
They don't stay young forever!
The first step is identifying what role you will be the most effective in according to your life. If you are lucky enough to have a grandparent that lives close by, this is also a very rewarding and purposeful role that a grandparent can participate in. If you're still a little uneasy or hesitating to participate, here are a few reasons to reconsider why being involved in your child's early education is important.
1. Time is the greatest gift of all. Remember, children are only young for a little while so enjoy this time while you can!
2. Parents will have a deeper understanding of what their children are experiencing in school by being present which translates into increased learning and developmental milestones.
3. Learning and academics are only one aspect of your child's education. Having direct classroom involvement provides a bird's eye view of how your child is interacting with classmates, making friends and tuning into their personal and social development.
4. Enjoy the "happiness" you give your child just by making your presence known. Consider this your "15 minutes of fame with your most loving fan" as you just made them the post popular kid in class. Bring a snack to share (if permitted..that's a whole separate blog these days), and your popularity may just be cemented into the Hall of Fame.
5. Revisit your childhood... Yes, that's exactly what I said! While cutting out construction paper "hearts" for Valentine's Day may not be matched to your college degree, how many of us can say we really had an opportunity to "color out of the lines" for a couple of hours? Enjoy your own time out from the real world of responsibilities.
Remember, whatever your level of involvement, to enjoy this shared experience with your child. I have immense respect for the many parents who volunteer their time tirelessly, who sit on PTA boards, have the time and patience to cut out superior Jello-Jigglers, and work diligently with my child on their day to be parent helper. Don't forget to smile and realize that, like childbirth, you probably won't remember the painful parts but only the good times you will have when you are there.
They don't stay young forever!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Everything Happens For A Reason: The Grandparent Connection: The Value Of Uncondit...
Everything Happens For A Reason: The Grandparent Connection: The Value Of Uncondit...: "As I edge closer to 50 than 40 I have come to realize more than ever the integral role grandparent(s) play in helping families strike a mind..."
The Grandparent Connection: The Value Of Unconditional Love
As I edge closer to 50 than 40 I have come to realize more than ever the integral role grandparent(s) play in helping families strike a mindful balance which carries some very significant benefits. I remember many summers spent with my own grandparents as the primary caretaker of my brother and myself and many summer evenings listening to "stories" of days gone by, endless days swimming in the lake, rainy days spent playing cards with my grandfather. I realize, first hand, that grandparents and their role can be the "glue" which keeps the family together and contributes to family identity.
If we are lucky enough to have grandparents close in vicinity, their role can range from babysitter, chauffeur, confidante, caregiver and nurturer. Lunching with my daughters recently, it struck me that both girls had developed impeccable table manners which I complimented them on. My oldest daughter, Sara, said "Mom, when grandma takes us to lunch or when we eat dinner at her house, she always teaches table manners." So, grandparents also mentor grandchildren by teaching, sharing skills and talents as well as providing advice and listening to their grandchildren. Retired, with a little more time on her hands, the children's grandmother has the time and patience (and interest) to listen to stories about school, their activities and struggles. This intimate time spent together is valuable, sharing stories of her own years growing up and we find that while there may be a significant gap in age and cultures from "yester-year to today", the problems are often still similar. Her wisdom, patience and ability to listen is invaluable and creates a bond between them that transcends time. We have been fortunate, in that the children grew up within walking distance of my parents which has provided them with a unique "safe haven" because grandma always has time, an endless supply of chocolate chip cookies, and a shoulder to lean on when mine is at work.
As I grow older, I recognize the greatest gift of all is the gift of love and the gift of time. Life is short, creating memories will last a lifetime and set the foundation for the future. Enjoying grandparents while they are still with us is a role that is integral not only in augmenting the working family but in teaching and passing on the important knowledge and wisdom that they have accumulated in their vast lifetime..empowering with love.
While many factors may affect the degree to which grandparents can be involved in their grandchildren's lives, (i.e., distance, health, disability), there are many ways to bridge the gaps and facilitate relationships and connections between grandparents and grandchildren. In some cases, working mothers will have grandparents provide childcare. This is often the next best thing to having a parent at home. Grandparents provide unconditional love, maturity, knowledge, stability and wisdom for grandchildren and the same is true in reverse, as the grandchildren often add a dimension to the life of a grandparent not otherwise known, love, energy, youthfulness and purpose!
My own father (who is no longer with us) had a bad hip which he was too stubborn to have replaced, yet he maneuvered his mini-van to umpteen youth football games, little league baseball, and wouldn't hesitate to sit with one of the kids home sick with stomach flu and completely content to watch whatever cartoons kept his grandchild entertained. To this day, I remember the conversation I had with my dad, as I told him I was expecting my fourth child. The announcement of my fourth child had been met with a few comments like "are you crazy?" which had spun my emotions through the gamut (that's a whole separate blog). His words still resonate with me, "Honey, we have more than enough love to go around, I can't wait to meet my new grandchild, she's already loved." To this day, I wonder how he knew "she was a she", I didn't even know at that point! Nonetheless, his words, as always, comforted me in a way only a Dad can do.
So, fostering relationships with grandparents based on their degree or ability to be involved is important to build links to the future and, as a parent, we too gain positive support and encouragement balancing busy work schedules and parenting.
In the end, "The Grandparent Connection" is an enriching and encouraging bond connecting and building links between us. The gift of time, the gift of unconditional love is priceless. At my son's last varsity football game, his grandmother waited by the fence to congratulate him on a wonderful season (he made all KVA and won several awards), I saw, first hand, the lifetime bond that had developed between them, and without hesitation or second thought, he bear-hugged his grandma in a way only a 6-foot 5-inch, 230-pound center can do. No words were necessary.
If we are lucky enough to have grandparents close in vicinity, their role can range from babysitter, chauffeur, confidante, caregiver and nurturer. Lunching with my daughters recently, it struck me that both girls had developed impeccable table manners which I complimented them on. My oldest daughter, Sara, said "Mom, when grandma takes us to lunch or when we eat dinner at her house, she always teaches table manners." So, grandparents also mentor grandchildren by teaching, sharing skills and talents as well as providing advice and listening to their grandchildren. Retired, with a little more time on her hands, the children's grandmother has the time and patience (and interest) to listen to stories about school, their activities and struggles. This intimate time spent together is valuable, sharing stories of her own years growing up and we find that while there may be a significant gap in age and cultures from "yester-year to today", the problems are often still similar. Her wisdom, patience and ability to listen is invaluable and creates a bond between them that transcends time. We have been fortunate, in that the children grew up within walking distance of my parents which has provided them with a unique "safe haven" because grandma always has time, an endless supply of chocolate chip cookies, and a shoulder to lean on when mine is at work.
As I grow older, I recognize the greatest gift of all is the gift of love and the gift of time. Life is short, creating memories will last a lifetime and set the foundation for the future. Enjoying grandparents while they are still with us is a role that is integral not only in augmenting the working family but in teaching and passing on the important knowledge and wisdom that they have accumulated in their vast lifetime..empowering with love.
While many factors may affect the degree to which grandparents can be involved in their grandchildren's lives, (i.e., distance, health, disability), there are many ways to bridge the gaps and facilitate relationships and connections between grandparents and grandchildren. In some cases, working mothers will have grandparents provide childcare. This is often the next best thing to having a parent at home. Grandparents provide unconditional love, maturity, knowledge, stability and wisdom for grandchildren and the same is true in reverse, as the grandchildren often add a dimension to the life of a grandparent not otherwise known, love, energy, youthfulness and purpose!
My own father (who is no longer with us) had a bad hip which he was too stubborn to have replaced, yet he maneuvered his mini-van to umpteen youth football games, little league baseball, and wouldn't hesitate to sit with one of the kids home sick with stomach flu and completely content to watch whatever cartoons kept his grandchild entertained. To this day, I remember the conversation I had with my dad, as I told him I was expecting my fourth child. The announcement of my fourth child had been met with a few comments like "are you crazy?" which had spun my emotions through the gamut (that's a whole separate blog). His words still resonate with me, "Honey, we have more than enough love to go around, I can't wait to meet my new grandchild, she's already loved." To this day, I wonder how he knew "she was a she", I didn't even know at that point! Nonetheless, his words, as always, comforted me in a way only a Dad can do.
So, fostering relationships with grandparents based on their degree or ability to be involved is important to build links to the future and, as a parent, we too gain positive support and encouragement balancing busy work schedules and parenting.
In the end, "The Grandparent Connection" is an enriching and encouraging bond connecting and building links between us. The gift of time, the gift of unconditional love is priceless. At my son's last varsity football game, his grandmother waited by the fence to congratulate him on a wonderful season (he made all KVA and won several awards), I saw, first hand, the lifetime bond that had developed between them, and without hesitation or second thought, he bear-hugged his grandma in a way only a 6-foot 5-inch, 230-pound center can do. No words were necessary.
Monday, January 17, 2011
The "Write" Balance
Finding ways to express emotions in healthy ways is key to your good mental and physical health. For centuries, pen-and-paper-in-hand, poets have written poetry, lyrics to songs have been written that transcend time and still find themselves on someone's iPod shuffle today. Why is this? Emotions run the gamut from painful to euphoria and the circumstances surroudning them make great subject matter for writers, artists, musicians and the like.
Recent Neuroscience studies have shown that putting feelings into words produces therapeutic effects in the brain. Talking with a friend, therapist or writing in a journal have profound positive effects on our emotional and physical health. To achieve a life of "mindfulness", which is the ability to live in the present moment, without distraction, seems to produce a variety of health benefits. A region of the brain called the amygdala serves as an "alarm" to activate a cascade of biological systems that protect the body in times of danger. It's no wonder, then, that painful emotions trigger physical responses in our body that impact our overall general health in a negative way over a long period of time.
So, how does one achieve "mindfulness", that ability to live in the present without distraction? Have you ever found yourself re-living or re-hashing a painful emotional moment over and over again? Well, they call this phenomenon "processing emotions", and the reason we do this is felt to be a way to facilitate "coping". However, attempts to understand painful feelings often backfire and perpetuate or strengthen negative moods and emotions and can lead to depression. On the othe end of the spectrum is the "Ostrich syndrome", simply put, by "sticking your head in the sand" you practice denial or distraction. Hmmm...there's only one problem here, and that is, sooner or later, these issues are going to pop up, like an uninvited guest.
I think we have to find a balance somewhere in the middle of the spectrum so we are dealing with emotions and knowing when to simply let them go. Here are a few tips on how to do this:
ACCEPT PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY: Accept that we cannot change the behaviors or actions of others; however, we can change our own behavior. Along with this, you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think. Protect and nuture your own health and emotional well-being. Taking preventative health-oriented steps of structuring your life with time management, stress management, confronting fears and burn out prevention.
LET GO OF ANGER: Easy to write, very difficult to do in some cases. Value yourself as a person first and foremost. Let go of your sense of responsibility for others, in most cases, this is out of your control anyway. The most important people in your life will always be there for you out of love, unconditional love. Holding onto anger will only put advantage to negative effects on your life. Practice distancing here to allow yourself to re-focus on what is good for you, and those important around you.
EXERCISE YOUR GIFTS. I believe each and every one of us has God-given gifts and talents to be cherished which are always worthwhile endeavors for your time and health. A friend of mine, half-way around the world recently posted pictures of a new Singer sewing machine he was using to personalize curtains. Another good friend is a singer/songwriter who used a time in his life where he was going through a painful divorce to write song after song in a form of therapy. Keeping a journal which is yours and yours alone to write in has proven therapeutic benefits for your health emotionally and physically.
MOVE YOUR BODY: Our bodies are meant to move, every single day. Make a point to take a 10-minute walk after work or during your lunch hour. Rent a Yoga or Pilates video and practice strengthening and relaxation movements that involve your whole body. If your body is speaking to you with physical pain, then it's sending you a message to get moving. Find a local "YMCA" or rehabilitation facility that allows use of it's pool. Many studies have shown that weightless walking in water has multiple positive effects on joint range of motion, weight loss and enhancing your physical health. All-in-all, whatever exercise is right for your busy schedule, make a point to carve out some time for just you. The most cost-effective treatment for good health is at your fingertips and the release of natural endorphins will help your mood as well as take your mind off painful emotional distractions.
IMPOSSIBLE PEOPLE: For the most difficult situations, which I call "impossible people", you must simply find perspective and find a "shelf" to file away these problems. The painful emotions that impossible people evoke can only hurt you if you let them...and why place the advantage in their court? Realize that impossible people fall into the category of those YOU "manage". As a manager, your best resource is silence (in some cases, silence is truly golden). After all, impossible people won't listen to reason and even if they could, they wouldn't (otherwise, they wouldn't be impossible). Impossible people don't take responsibility for their flaws and you can't convince them they have any responsibility (they're too busy being right). Over time, this will become easier, but once you place yourself in the position to "manage" the whole business of impossible people, you have taken control of this mindset without casting blame and without giving in to anger. Most importantly here, remember to always be the opposite of the impossible person which is a possible person. Living as an example of tolerance, patience, humility and even some kindness are all things the impossible person are not very good at.
In the end, whether you write a blog (me!), compose songs or lyrics, participate in the arts, exercise or meditate, learning to deal with emotions is key to good mental and physical health. None of us is perfect all of the time. Give respect because YOU are human. If you don't receive respect, well, sadly, that's their problem. Give understanding and you get understanding. Achieving the balance on the emotional spectrum toward "mindfulness" is a great place to strive to be and will set an example for those around you. Who doesn't gravitate toward the well-centered, mindful individual?
Recent Neuroscience studies have shown that putting feelings into words produces therapeutic effects in the brain. Talking with a friend, therapist or writing in a journal have profound positive effects on our emotional and physical health. To achieve a life of "mindfulness", which is the ability to live in the present moment, without distraction, seems to produce a variety of health benefits. A region of the brain called the amygdala serves as an "alarm" to activate a cascade of biological systems that protect the body in times of danger. It's no wonder, then, that painful emotions trigger physical responses in our body that impact our overall general health in a negative way over a long period of time.
So, how does one achieve "mindfulness", that ability to live in the present without distraction? Have you ever found yourself re-living or re-hashing a painful emotional moment over and over again? Well, they call this phenomenon "processing emotions", and the reason we do this is felt to be a way to facilitate "coping". However, attempts to understand painful feelings often backfire and perpetuate or strengthen negative moods and emotions and can lead to depression. On the othe end of the spectrum is the "Ostrich syndrome", simply put, by "sticking your head in the sand" you practice denial or distraction. Hmmm...there's only one problem here, and that is, sooner or later, these issues are going to pop up, like an uninvited guest.
I think we have to find a balance somewhere in the middle of the spectrum so we are dealing with emotions and knowing when to simply let them go. Here are a few tips on how to do this:
ACCEPT PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY: Accept that we cannot change the behaviors or actions of others; however, we can change our own behavior. Along with this, you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think. Protect and nuture your own health and emotional well-being. Taking preventative health-oriented steps of structuring your life with time management, stress management, confronting fears and burn out prevention.
LET GO OF ANGER: Easy to write, very difficult to do in some cases. Value yourself as a person first and foremost. Let go of your sense of responsibility for others, in most cases, this is out of your control anyway. The most important people in your life will always be there for you out of love, unconditional love. Holding onto anger will only put advantage to negative effects on your life. Practice distancing here to allow yourself to re-focus on what is good for you, and those important around you.
EXERCISE YOUR GIFTS. I believe each and every one of us has God-given gifts and talents to be cherished which are always worthwhile endeavors for your time and health. A friend of mine, half-way around the world recently posted pictures of a new Singer sewing machine he was using to personalize curtains. Another good friend is a singer/songwriter who used a time in his life where he was going through a painful divorce to write song after song in a form of therapy. Keeping a journal which is yours and yours alone to write in has proven therapeutic benefits for your health emotionally and physically.
MOVE YOUR BODY: Our bodies are meant to move, every single day. Make a point to take a 10-minute walk after work or during your lunch hour. Rent a Yoga or Pilates video and practice strengthening and relaxation movements that involve your whole body. If your body is speaking to you with physical pain, then it's sending you a message to get moving. Find a local "YMCA" or rehabilitation facility that allows use of it's pool. Many studies have shown that weightless walking in water has multiple positive effects on joint range of motion, weight loss and enhancing your physical health. All-in-all, whatever exercise is right for your busy schedule, make a point to carve out some time for just you. The most cost-effective treatment for good health is at your fingertips and the release of natural endorphins will help your mood as well as take your mind off painful emotional distractions.
IMPOSSIBLE PEOPLE: For the most difficult situations, which I call "impossible people", you must simply find perspective and find a "shelf" to file away these problems. The painful emotions that impossible people evoke can only hurt you if you let them...and why place the advantage in their court? Realize that impossible people fall into the category of those YOU "manage". As a manager, your best resource is silence (in some cases, silence is truly golden). After all, impossible people won't listen to reason and even if they could, they wouldn't (otherwise, they wouldn't be impossible). Impossible people don't take responsibility for their flaws and you can't convince them they have any responsibility (they're too busy being right). Over time, this will become easier, but once you place yourself in the position to "manage" the whole business of impossible people, you have taken control of this mindset without casting blame and without giving in to anger. Most importantly here, remember to always be the opposite of the impossible person which is a possible person. Living as an example of tolerance, patience, humility and even some kindness are all things the impossible person are not very good at.
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