"I Love You" The Powerful Gift of Words...

One of the most basic psychological needs, at the core of being human, is the need love and to be loved.  As a matter of fact, I would say that love is one of the most powerful forces of nature and life. 

 

Showing and expressing love, however, is easy for some and nearly impossible for others.  One of the things that I have always found interesting is that some people seem to have no trouble showing affection and proclaiming their love, while others seem unable to even say the words not to mention show the emotion.  It is, however, very important for us to hear those words.  Saying “I love you” is good for each of us, but it is particularly important for those we love to hear us say it.  Those who have trouble saying those words are often very loving people who, even though they don’t say it, show their love in other ways.  Even though there is no doubt that they love you, there is no replacement for hearing those three precious words.     

 

Saying "I Love You" to our children are the three most important words in the universe for keeping them happy, healthy, confident and sure about how their parents feel about them...when there is a deficiency in hearing these wors, children can become unhappy, fearful, nervous, withdrawn, self-conscious, angry and emotionally imbalanced....it is just as important as the air we breathe, the water we drink and the food that nourishes our bodies.  When children are very young, we tend to literally ooze with "love you's" which tapers off as children reach around the age of 10 in some cases and is based on a variety of reasons that are as different as each of us are unique to ourselves. Bottom line...there is no age limit or restriction on I love you...coupled with a hug, ten times better.

 

Sure, it's possible to say "I Love You" too much...some of us have witnessed people who say "I Love You" when it seemed insincere or when "I Love You" and then saying things or doing things that are not consistent acts of kindness... Bottom Line... saying "I love you" should never be insincere or trite whether you realize it or not.

 

Using terms of endearment don't come easy to everyone...the words "I Love You" are often found in many ways just as important as the spoken word.  For example, when the children clean the kitchen without asking, says "I Love you" to their mother!  

 

I used to write love notes to my kids in their lunch boxes on the napkin.."I love you baby, have a great day..xoxoxo, mommie" tucked somewhere between the PB&J and a Jello cup.  A busy working mother needs a break too.  I can't think of a better way to say "I love you" than when a husband gives his wife time to relax and soak in a hot tub or surprises the family on Friday night after work with pizza for dinner.   I remember the summer we moved into our new house on the lake, newly married for the second time my mother forgot to mention we came with "a dog" which can sometimes be a deal-breaker.  He welcomed our "third family member", Elizabeth (my water spaniel companion at the age of 15) without skipping a beat.  That's love.

 

So you see, I think those three little words, "I Love You" can be spoken, written or carried out by action to be the most powerful gift on earth to another.   In today's world of busy-ness, love can be looked upon as an accessory and easy to take for granted what a gift it truly is to receive and to bestow.  Love may not be bright enough to light the end of the tunnel, but it certainly gives us something to walk towards when darkness renders your life. 

 

We are all human, although some of us have a little tougher exterior than others, when cut we all bleed...the simplest at of kindness, respect and compassion to show someone how much you love them can never come at a bad time.

 

Everything Happens For A Reason: Everything Happens For A Reason, There Are No Coin...

Everything Happens For A Reason: Everything Happens For A Reason, There Are No Coin...: "Just a little forewarning....what I'm about to write can be considered a leap of faith. I'm also going to go out on a limb by stating ..."

Everything Happens For A Reason, There Are No Coincidences? What Do You Think?

Just a little forewarning....what I'm about to write can be considered a leap of faith.  I'm also going to go out on a limb by stating there are no coincidences in life.  Everything happens for a reason.  Every moment of our lives is a twist of fate based on where we are at any given moment.  I don't think this is necessarily an earth shattering theory, but nonetheless, something I believe is overlooked quite commonly when people have things happen to them in life and don't know how or why it happened.   There is a reason behind everything that happens in this life and it is shrouded in a web of seemingly random actions in this world where anything can happen from the names we go by to the currency that circulates through this world and things are the way they are in this world because, in a sense, we choose them to be this way.

Have you ever wondered why things happen, whether they happen for a reason or not?  I tend to think that there are no coincidences in life and that everything does, indeed, happen for a reason.  Take, for example, someone who misses a flight and later find the flight ended in disaster or delay...this would send chills through your body and you would wonder why the universe conspired to save you.  Did it happen by chance?  Was it coincidence?

When things do not go as planned, the natural response is to become upset or irritated....think about the bigger picture.  Most of us can recall a time in our lives when something happens that is so profund we say "Why did this happen to me?"  Years ago, a good friend of mine lost a child which is needless to say, devastating.  In the soon-to-be released movie "The Rabbit Hole" based on a pulitzer prize winning play, Nicole Kidman plays a mother nammed Becca who loses a child and becomes cold and withdrawn in her marriage and her life.   Pulled to attend a support group for parents who have lost children by her husband, a couple states "God must have needed another angel."  Becca's reply is "Why doesn't he just make another angel...I mean, he's God afterall".  It's simply not possible to always see the reason for the events in our lives.  In the case of my friend who lost a child, they formed a website and charitable cause to raise awareness for the type of congenital deformity the child was born with and to hopefully provide support for others who experienced similar loss.   Why does it take a life to create awareness to disease, disaster or death?  I don't know the answer to that question.  It takes an incredible leap of faith to understand that everything does happen for a reason, the reason for which we may never truly know in our lifetime.

I may not be able to quote scripture as well as others; however, I do know that there are no coincidences with God.  There are so many outside elements that you have no control over in your life, starting with your birth and ending with your death and including everything that transpires in between, this is part of His divine plan for your life.

It's no accident where you live, work, go to school or where you shop.  It's no accident that the people in your life are there.  I believe that things happen for a reason, whether they are good or bad...the natural question is why?  In many cases there simply is no answer.  It is during those times in life when the questions outweigh the answers that we build on our faith...faith and hope.

Each and every one of us will go through difficult times and may be at this very moment.  Dealing with death, illness, financial difficulties, marital problems, issues with parents or children, challenges at work or school, sometimes...the walls seem to be caving in around you.  It is difficult to understand how this can be a part of any grand plan...all we can do is hold onto our blind faith and continue on our path.  One thing I am sure of is that God loves each and every one of us unconditionally...yes, unconditionally because if love was conditional, it wouldn't really be love, would it?

I remember, in my own life, when my step-father was dying...I knew his time was limited as did he.   I sat with him, one afternoon while he slept off and on...his disease was horrible his pain was immense.  He asked me, when it was "time" to let him go peacefully, no heroic measures...he was at peace with himself and with God.  A few days later, I received a call on my cell phone to stop by, that he wasn't feeling well and asking for me.  I knew instantly as I sat by his side that God had his hand on his shoulder, to call him home.  His blood pressure was so low, it barely registered, his heart was out of rhythm, his body was shutting down.  I did not keep my promise to him, instead instituted 911 and a full code.  The doctors in the emergency room read his EKG as full cardiac arrest...shook their heads in agreement and advised against life saving measures which would be extremely invasive, painful and, in the end, only prolong this man's life for a few days.  What had I done?  I not only had not kept my promise to a man who was like my own father and who I loved very dearly, but I was about to put him through needless pain and suffering..my soul ached with a pain that was indescribable.  The next day, he sat up in a chair in his hospital room, alive only through the machines that made his body function for him he sat and received family...grandchildren, one by one sat on his lap, told him how much they loved him, truly loved him...their favorite memory of the time he spent with them in the U.P. at the cabin (his haven of peace throughout his entire life).  For the briefest moment, the twinkle in his eye I grew to know as uniquely his own, was as present as ever.  His last visitor was his son.  They had not spoken in years over pain and resentment his son had toward his father, which seemed to melt away, and for the briefest moment, they had one last time to be just father and son, and to say goodbye.  To this day, I cannot tell you if the decision I made to prolong his life was the right one or not.  Was it coincidence that I arrived at just the right moment where he hovered within minutes of passing on peacefully (the doctors later told me, if I had arrived even a minute later, he would have been gone)?  This was a time when there were more questions than answers... a time where I only had faith to guide me.

I think what it comes down to is that you have to ask yourself...do you believe everything happens for a reason?  Are there no coincidences?   The above can be considered a leap of faith...and somewhat going out on a limb.  My dad used to say, there has to be a winner and there will always be a loser...and that it is just as OK to lose as it is to win (he was a football coach..he loved to win!)  What he meant is that there is a journey on both ends of the spectrum, and it is just as important to go where winning takes us as it does to lose.  No matter where the ups and downs of life take us, it is the approach to life which is the foundation of where we are going to end up.  Some of the victories and losses in our lives aren't necessarily always measured on a grand scale, but part of every day life, within our families or work and each and everything that happens to us, whether that be good, bad, indifferent is part of where we are supposed to be...maybe instead of asking why me...we should say..why not me?  As I write this, I don't have all of the answers...what do you think?