The "Write" Balance

Finding ways to express emotions in healthy ways is key to your good mental and physical health.   For centuries, pen-and-paper-in-hand, poets have written poetry, lyrics to songs have been written that transcend time and still find themselves on someone's iPod shuffle today.  Why is this?  Emotions run the gamut from painful to euphoria and the circumstances surroudning them make great subject matter for writers, artists, musicians and the like. 

Recent Neuroscience studies have shown that putting feelings into words produces therapeutic effects in the brain.  Talking with a friend, therapist or writing in a journal have profound positive effects on our emotional and physical health.  To achieve a life of "mindfulness", which is the ability to live in the present moment, without distraction, seems to produce a variety of health benefits.   A region of the brain called the amygdala serves as an "alarm" to activate a cascade of biological systems that protect the body in times of danger.  It's no wonder, then, that painful emotions trigger physical responses in our body that impact our overall general health in a negative way over a long period of time.

So, how does one achieve "mindfulness", that ability to live in the present without distraction?   Have you ever found yourself re-living or re-hashing a painful emotional moment over and over again?  Well, they call this phenomenon "processing emotions", and the reason we do this is felt to be a way to facilitate "coping".  However, attempts to understand painful feelings often backfire and perpetuate or strengthen negative moods and emotions and can lead to depression.   On the othe end of the spectrum is the "Ostrich syndrome", simply put, by "sticking your head in the sand" you practice denial or distraction.  Hmmm...there's only one problem here, and that is, sooner or later, these issues are going to pop up, like an uninvited guest.

I think we have to find a balance somewhere in the middle of the spectrum so we are dealing with emotions and knowing when to simply let them go.   Here are a few tips on how to do this:

ACCEPT PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY:  Accept that we cannot change the behaviors or actions of others; however, we can change our own behavior.  Along with this, you are responsible for what you choose to feel or think.  Protect and nuture your own health and emotional well-being.  Taking preventative health-oriented steps of structuring your life with time management, stress management, confronting fears and burn out prevention.

LET GO OF ANGER:  Easy to write, very difficult to do in some cases.  Value yourself as a person first and foremost.  Let go of your sense of responsibility for others, in most cases, this is out of your control anyway.  The most important people in your life will always be there for you out of love, unconditional love.  Holding onto anger will only put advantage to negative effects on your life.  Practice distancing here to allow yourself to re-focus on what is good for you, and those important around you.

EXERCISE YOUR GIFTS.  I believe each and every one of us has God-given gifts and talents to be cherished which are always worthwhile endeavors for your time and health.   A friend of mine, half-way around the world recently posted pictures of a new Singer sewing machine he was using to personalize curtains.   Another good friend is a singer/songwriter who used a time in his life where he was going through a painful divorce to write song after song in a form of therapy.  Keeping a journal which is yours and yours alone to write in has proven therapeutic benefits for your health emotionally and physically. 

MOVE YOUR BODY:  Our bodies are meant to move, every single day.  Make a point to take a 10-minute walk after work or during your lunch hour.  Rent a Yoga or Pilates video and practice strengthening and relaxation movements that involve your whole body.  If your body is speaking to you with physical pain, then it's sending you a message to get moving.  Find a local "YMCA" or rehabilitation facility that allows use of it's pool.  Many studies have shown that weightless walking in water has multiple positive effects on joint range of motion, weight loss and enhancing your physical health.  All-in-all, whatever exercise is right for your busy schedule, make a point to carve out some time for just you.  The most cost-effective treatment for good health is at your fingertips and the release of natural endorphins will help your mood as well as take your mind off painful emotional distractions.

IMPOSSIBLE PEOPLE:  For the most difficult situations, which I call "impossible people", you must simply find perspective and find a "shelf" to file away these problems.  The painful emotions that impossible people evoke can only hurt you if you let them...and why place the advantage in their court?  Realize that impossible people fall into the category of those YOU "manage".  As a manager, your best resource is silence (in some cases, silence is truly golden).  After all, impossible people won't listen to reason and even if they could, they wouldn't (otherwise, they wouldn't be impossible).  Impossible people don't take responsibility for their flaws and you can't convince them they have any responsibility (they're too busy being right).  Over time, this will become easier, but once you place yourself in the position to "manage" the whole business of impossible people, you have taken control of this mindset without casting blame and without giving in to anger.   Most importantly here, remember to always be the opposite of the impossible person which is a possible person.  Living as an example of tolerance, patience, humility and even some kindness are all things the impossible person are not very good at.

In the end, whether you write a blog (me!), compose songs or lyrics, participate in the arts, exercise or meditate, learning to deal with emotions is key to good mental and physical health.  None of us is perfect all of the time.  Give respect because YOU are human.  If you don't receive respect, well, sadly, that's their problem.  Give understanding and you get understanding.  Achieving the balance on the emotional spectrum toward "mindfulness" is a great place to strive to be and will set an example for those around you.  Who doesn't gravitate toward the well-centered, mindful individual?