The Grandparent Connection: The Value Of Unconditional Love

As I edge closer to 50 than 40 I have come to realize more than ever the integral role grandparent(s) play in helping families strike a mindful balance which carries some very significant benefits.  I remember many summers spent with my own grandparents as the primary caretaker of my brother and myself and many summer evenings listening to "stories" of days gone by, endless days swimming in the lake, rainy days spent playing cards with my grandfather. I realize, first hand,  that grandparents and their role can be the "glue" which keeps the family together and contributes to family identity.
If we are lucky enough to have grandparents close in vicinity, their role can range from babysitter, chauffeur, confidante, caregiver and nurturer.  Lunching with my daughters recently, it struck me that both girls had developed impeccable table manners which I complimented them on.  My oldest daughter, Sara, said "Mom, when grandma takes us to lunch or when we eat dinner at her house, she always teaches table manners."   So, grandparents also mentor grandchildren by teaching, sharing skills and talents as well as providing advice and listening to their grandchildren.  Retired, with a little more time on her hands, the children's grandmother has the time and patience (and interest) to listen to stories about school, their activities and struggles.  This intimate time spent together is valuable, sharing stories of her own years growing up and we find that while there may be a significant gap in age and cultures from "yester-year to today", the problems are often still similar.   Her wisdom, patience and ability to listen is invaluable and creates a bond between them that transcends time.  We have been fortunate, in that the children grew up within walking distance of my parents which has provided them with a unique "safe haven" because grandma always has time, an endless supply of chocolate chip cookies, and a shoulder to lean on when mine is at work.
As I grow older, I recognize the greatest gift of all is the gift of love and the gift of time.  Life is short, creating memories will last a lifetime and set the foundation for the future.  Enjoying grandparents while they are still with us is a role that is integral not only in augmenting the working family but in teaching and passing on the important knowledge and wisdom that they have accumulated in their vast lifetime..empowering with love.
While many factors may affect the degree to which grandparents can be involved in their grandchildren's lives, (i.e., distance, health, disability), there are many ways to bridge the gaps and facilitate relationships and connections between grandparents and grandchildren.  In some cases, working mothers will have grandparents provide childcare.  This is often the next best thing to having a parent at home.  Grandparents provide unconditional love, maturity, knowledge, stability and wisdom for grandchildren and the same is true in reverse, as the grandchildren often add a dimension to the life of a grandparent not otherwise known, love, energy, youthfulness and purpose!
My own father (who is no longer with us) had a bad hip which he was too stubborn to have replaced, yet he maneuvered his mini-van to umpteen youth football games, little league baseball, and wouldn't hesitate to sit with one of the kids home sick with stomach flu and completely content to watch whatever cartoons kept his grandchild entertained.  To this day, I remember the conversation I had with my dad, as I told him I was expecting my fourth child.  The announcement of my fourth child had been met with a few comments like "are you crazy?" which had spun my emotions through the gamut (that's a whole separate blog).  His words still resonate with me, "Honey, we have more than enough love to go around, I can't wait to meet my new grandchild, she's already loved."  To this day, I wonder how he knew "she was a she", I didn't even know at that point!  Nonetheless, his words, as always, comforted me in a way only a Dad can do.
So, fostering relationships with grandparents based on their degree or ability to be involved is important to build links to the future and, as a parent, we too gain positive support and encouragement balancing busy work schedules and parenting.
In the end, "The Grandparent Connection" is an enriching and encouraging bond connecting and building links between us.  The gift of time, the gift of unconditional love is priceless.  At my son's last varsity football game, his grandmother waited by the fence to congratulate him on a wonderful season (he made all KVA and won several awards), I saw, first hand, the lifetime bond that had developed between them, and without hesitation or second thought, he bear-hugged his grandma in a way only a 6-foot 5-inch, 230-pound center can do.  No words were necessary.