Faltering

I’ve never been a quitter. I was born stubborn.  If you tell me I can’t do something, you’re asking for a front row seat in the “watch how it’s done show.”  That’s who I am.  How I’ve always been. I’m a fighter.  You can knock me down but you can’t beat me.  I might stumble (I stumble on a good day), I might falter, but I refuse to give up. There is something proud and resilient about me that people pick up almost instantly (most people). Something that says I refuse to be beaten.  If you look closely into my eyes, you will see this fragility that has learned self-reliance the hard way.

I’ve learned that there are no shortcuts or easy rides to anything worth while, anything that’s truly magical.  I believe in fate and destiny and the magic of the unknown because I’m a romantic. But I also believe that that’s half the journey, and from a certain point  forward - we own the path. For the way we choose to live.  I’m loyal – fiercely so. My will is incredibly strong. For most of my life I’ve been in battle with it myself. It used to be something I prided myself with but lately I’m not so sure.  I feel as if it has transcended me. Almost as if it’s risen above and beyond me. I can’t silence it nor can I seem to control its strength and its insistence to endure. 

 But it’s proving hard – accepting that goes against my nature.  It goes against who I am.  The concept of giving up… it seems weak and small...but, this time, I realize...it's not enough just to have a strong will..the stars must line up to make a connect-the-dot puzzle work out right, things I have no control over...

Sprinkle A Little Fairy Dust On Me

She believes in love and romance. She believes her life is going to be transformed into something wonderful and exciting. She has hopes and fears, just like anyone. Sometimes, she feels frightened. Sometimes, she feels unloved. Sometimes she feels she will never gain approval from those people who are most important to her.

But she’s brave, and goodhearted, and faces her life head on. 

I believe in holding still. I believe that the secrets we hold in our hearts are our anchors, that even the unspoken between us is a measure of our every promise to the living and the dead. And all our promises, like all our hopes, move us through life with the power of an ocean liner pushing through the sea. 

Always remember,you are smart enough and beautiful enough to never be taken for granted and to never be anyone’s second best. 

At this moment, there are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. Six billion people in the world, six billion souls. And sometimes… all you need is one. 

There is no magic cure, no making it all go away forever. There are only small steps upward; an easier day, an unexpected laugh, a mirror that doesn’t matter anymore. 

33 Things About Giving Love That are Free

I often think, those things which we enjoy the most, truly appreciate the most (and sometimes to forget to appreciate the most) are actually free.

1.  The way you make someone feel.

2.  The moment you realize, you are not as alone as you think you are.

3.  When someone loves you at your most unlovable times.

4.  The smile on your child's face, like a moonbeam.

5.  The moment, after it's gone, and not regretting it.

6.  Affecting people without realizing it.

7.  Hope.  Hope.  Hope.

8.  Faith.  Restoring someone's Faith.

9.  Waking up to have another day and another chance to get it right.

10.  A second chance (at anything).

11.  A hug and being hugged tight.

12.  A text, phone call or message of love.

13.  Being missed by someone.

14.  That the sun comes up in the morning without fail as does the moon.

15.  Tolerance.

16.  Comfortable silences amongst those you love.

17.  Butterflies - seen or felt.

18.  Holding a hand.

19.  Trust.

20.  When someone warms your car up in below zero temps.

21.  Having the courage to think for yourself.

22.  Forgiving yourself or someone.

23. If you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only love -understanding the Paradox (Mother Teresa).

24. The heat of the sun on your bare skin.

25.  Helping someone else find a piece of Joy in their life.

26.  Just being there when you are needed.

27.  The way the words "I love you Mommie" sound as they tumble off of my daughter's lips..

28.  Saying what you mean, and meaning what you say....

29.  Random acts of kindness.

30.  Not holding back.

31.  Your time.  Your time when you are busy.

32.  Listening.

33.  The sound of someone's familiar voice.

Could It Be Your Vagus Nerve?

To start, what's a vagus nerve (pronounced like Las Vegas)?  This sinewy little nerve is pretty important and starts at the medulla (in your brain) and travels all the way down, past your chest and beyond your stomach.  The vagus nerve is responsible for literally a multitude of of our bodily functions from feeling happiness, depression to irritable bowel syndrome.

The vagus nerve is so important that many health issues can be back-tracked, at least in part, to the vagus nerve having low tone.

Wondering if what you are feeling lately is due to the vagus nerve?  It is safe to say that damage to the vagus nerve can result in a host of symptoms and here are just a few:
*  Difficulty swallowing (dysphagia)
*  Hoarseness in voice (dysphonia)
*  Epilepsy (seizures)
*  Incontinence (urinary control)
*  Irritable bowel syndrome (alternating diarrhea/constipation)
*  Arrhythmia (abnormal heart beat or rhythm)
*  Dizziness, shortness of breath
*  Gastroparesis, digestive difficulties, refllux,
*  Obesity, low insulin production, diabetes
*  Depression, anxiety, memory loss, confusion, migraine headaches

And, the vagus nerve has an impact on our conscious and subconcious feelings - such as feelings of happiness or depression.  Thinking it's your vagus nerve causing your symptoms?   Click this link for the You Tube Video.

The term "vagus" is a Latin term, meaning "wandering" because this nerve meanders and branches out throughout the body.  It is also referred to as cranial nerve X.  The vagus nerve is a MAJOR player in our body (parasympathetic nerve functions) regulating bodily functions.  When something is amiss or there is vagal nerve damage, it's like a football team without a quarterback.

For example - when you are presented with a situation that causes "fight or flight" emotions - your brain signals your body to release epinephrine (adrenaline) a stimulant to "give you strength to deal with the situation (remember stories about a mother lifting a car off of her child?  She was utilizing adrenaline).  Once the danger passes, the vagus nerve starts to take over by signaling the parasympathetic nerve system to calm the body...lower heart rate....so bodily functions such as digestion may continue.

The vagus nerve has far reaching effects on our body.   Our feelings of sexual arousal, desire, speech, swallowing, heart rate, moderating inflammation are all impacted by the proper functioning of the vagus nerve.

The Enteric Nerve System (ENS) is also impacted by the function of our vagus nerve and is so important that it is almost called our second brain.  There are some 500 million neurons in our digestive process which are impacted by our vagus nerve and enteric nerve system to aid in digestion of food.  The ENS is called a second brain because it can function even if the vagus nerve is severed.

Now that we have covered some of the bodily functions impacted by the good health of our vagus nerve, it is now felt that our feelings of happiness or depression are impacted as well by our vagus nerve.  Did you know that your gag reflex is stimulated by the vagus nerve?

Each of us varies in regards to our vagus nerve and vagal tone; however, it is felt that an individual with good vagal tone will have a better chance of good overall medical health and a sense of happiness.

While it is impossible to measure our vagal tone, if you are overweight, the vagus nerve plays a huge part in the production of insulin, and being sedentary or inactive, you may have feelings of depression due to poor vagal tone.  In addition, poor vagal tone may cause symptoms of constipation or dull the sensation of feeling full after eating a nice balanced meal causing you to overeat, gain weight and be at risk for diabetes, cardiovascular health issues, and depression (a vicious circle, indeed)!

So, here's to improving our vagal tone...how do we do that?   Researchers are just now performing studies on patients with perceived low vagal tone and having them work on increasing their mood by support systems, using loving kindness in their lives and as they began to improve their emotional well-being and taking control over outside influences that make them stressed, sad or feelings of low-self esteem, they began to experience an upward spiral and increased vagal tone.

Clearly, this shows that we can improve our vagal tone which positively impacts our physical bodies.  I think the vagus nerve is very overlooked in many individuals suffering symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome, diabetes, obesity, cardiovascular issues because of our vagus nerve.

Specialists in neurology offer implantation of a vagus nerve stimulator to treat patients with epilepsy (seizures) and were SURPRISED to note a nice side effect...while improving the vagal tone, patients experienced less depression, which in turn, made them feel better physically, allowed them to lose weight, exercise and improve cardiovascular function, control diabetes and improved memory.

How do we improve our vagal tone for overall better health and happiness?  If you are in a tough and chronic cycle of depression, this may be a very difficult nose dive to come out of.   However, improving your emotional health one step at a time is a great FIRST step in turning that nose dive into a climb and reach for the sky.

Take a few minutes each day and talk to yourself - positive thoughts, positive affirmations, letting go of the negative or putting it aside for awhile (sometimes, I spend 15 minutes in the tanner, but that's just me..and the "me time" is important).

Exercise in any form (house cleaning is considered exercise), walking, moving, is a great way to increase your vagal tone.

Due to the constant interplay between the brain and the gut, there is a huge impact in what we eat and how we feel as well as our vagal tone.  A healthy diet that includes Omega-3 fatty acids will help increase vagal tone.  The presence of symbiotic bacteria in the gut to aid in digestion will also increase vagal tone.  How many of us have heard that stress impacts irritable bowel syndrome?   ABSOLUTELY!

In short, I think we have sold our vagus nerve out when it comes to our overall health and well being.  So, if you ask me, work on feeling good, get moving, get rid of stress, because a healthy vagus nerve is going to make you feel better, aid in weight loss, improve cardiovascular function, lessen depression and the list goes on.

Want to learn more about your vagus nerve?    There are some great articles on the web...and here's to the newest craze of exercising your vagus nerve for good health!

Love You More

I love being horribly straightforward. I love sending reckless text messages (because how reckless can a form of digitized communication be?) and telling people I love them and telling people they are absolutely magical humans and I cannot believe they really exist. I love the thought of saying, “Kiss me harder,” and “You’re a good person,” and, “You brighten my day.” I live my life as straight-forward as possible.

Because one day, I might get hit by a bus.

I could be walking down the street one day, blasting Rihanna or Fleetwood Mac, jamming so hard that I don’t see the bus coming. I could be walking with a book in my hand, reading until the very end. I could be paying total and complete attention, imagine the impact before it arrives.

And I’d really, really rather not die with some confusing statement I said sitting in the phone or the thoughts or the memory of someone I know, care about, need.

I know how it is—we all want to be mysterious. None of us want to get hurt. None of us want to look desperate. So we wait to respond to texts, phone calls, emails, Facebook messages, Tweets. So we communicate our emotions in how we end our messages (no period this time? Really gonna get them.). So we say vague, half-statements and expect people to read our minds.

But what if we died?

What if the last thing you ever texted that girl was, “I don’t know, whenever,” when she asked an important question?

Maybe it’s weird. Maybe it’s scary. Maybe it seems downright impossible to just be—to just let people know you want them, need them.    It's a very human feeling.  I'm just willing to admit to being human.

But there is nothing more beautiful than being desperate.  It's a very human feeling.  I'm just willing to admit to being human.

And there is nothing more risky than pretending not to care.

We are young and we are human and we are beautiful and we are not as in control as we think we are. We never know who needs us back. We never know the magic that can arise between ourselves and other humans.

We never know when the bus is coming, none of us do.  Live for today, like there's no tomorrow and remember to Love - it's the one thing we carry with us always and always is forever.

(So go text them back, call them back..)  

I am and always will be- the optimist. The hoper of far-flung hopes. The dreamer of improbable dreams. 

And.. when something hurts, it makes you beautiful..the cracks around your heart let the light shine through...

Throughout your life...you'll need sunsets, road trips, airplanes and long car rides, new songs, old songs, but people more than anything.  We all need people and you may need to be that other person to someone else, a living, breathing, screaming invitation to believe in better things - everyone we meet in life becomes important for a reason, sometimes just a season, but often when you look at them and know life is better for having them in it..hang on to them.

Sometimes, I think it is so hard to depend on people..people have their own lives, problems, dreams...and at the end of the day, all you have is yourself..and.that.has.to.be.enough.

There are a thousand ways to get noticed...most are just a gamble.  The easiest way to create an impact is to do it, one person at a time, with truth, with connection and with love..what would life be like without love.

Count Me In

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1uGOZYoGMcY
Half of my love knee deep in
Hooked on a dream that is reeling me in
Oh is this how we begin?
Flowers on fire in a black and white fence

Curtains of rain all appear
Watching the skirt of the day you disappeared
Caught like a wheel in a groove
Cranking it big but it don't want to move

Count me in
Count me in
Count me in
Count me in

The water is perfectly still
Full of the thunder but waiting until
When the lightning hits the lake
You'll know how it feels to want you and wait

Count me in
Count me in
Count me in
Count me in

Count me in
Count me in
Count me in
Count me in (Repeat)