Manners Never Go Out Of Style

I can't help it, I'm pretty proud of my daughters and once in awhile I get a glimpse of them interacting with their friends, or when they're at work, or simply when they don't know I'm watching and here are a few things that I believe are important.

I have always believed that each child is different in what responsibility they can handle and one way I can teach them how to think for themselves and learn to take care of themselves is to give them as much freedom as they can handle. I will never ask them to take any more responsibility than they can handle and I am always here to help them as they handle it.

I always assume they have a good reason for the choices they make.  That's because I trust that they have a value system in place that reflect the values we share as a family.  I also hold the right to overrule their choices if I feel I need to out of respect for their general well-being.  That's my job as a parent.

Good manners never go out of style.  Manners start at home, with me because I'm the parent.  Please and thank you go a long way in this life toward making friends, getting and holding a job and good manners show that you respect yourself and that is reflected in how you treat your family, your friends, your teachers, other adults.

The thing about good manners is this:  If you have good manners and treat others with respect, it will be easier to spot those who don't use manners and respect.  Treat people with respect anyway, because in the end, all we can control in this world is our own behavior.

I will always treat you with respect.  I expect you to treat me with respect.  I expect you to treat others with respect.  I expect you to demand others to treat you with respect.

It's easy to bleed from the thorn of a rose when you're so caught up in the beauty of the rose itself.  Learn from your mistakes, and always be true to yourself.  There is only one "you" and no need to try and be anyone but you.  Even the rose, in all its beauty, has it's own flaws.

I will try to never assume anything, to lecture or talk at you or yell.  That's a tall order, but I think you're worth it.

I will love you, unconditionally and I want you to take that for granted.  No matter what happens in life, I will always love you.

Memory Can Be a Tricky Thing

It's true, you know, memories can be tricky and if you live long enough you may be able to understand what that means.   Memories of someone, something, feelings, the sum total of which makes us each unique in our own right.

Our genetic make up is darn right clever.  Sometimes, there are things we would rather not remember, yet it stays there, locked away tight in the closet of our soul..lurking for a vulnerable moment to tumble out when least expected.

Myself, I'm a timeline memory keeper - I lock them all away and organize them like any good secretary would organize tax papers, invoices and purchase orders.   Sometimes I think my memory has better organization than real life, but the memories are just as messy as my desk.  A messy conglomeration of things that were either extremely happy or sentimental and trigger a golf ball in my throat.

Memories of people who are still with us that are happy times, parties, celebrations and milestones or achievements are the icing on the cake.

Memories of people who are still around but something or somehow changed can be painful and while safely tucked away in the closet, can lurk close to the surface when something, anything, serves as a reminder like a "tickler file" and there goes the mascara.  It's times like those that on the surface I appear as calm as a little duck in a pond, but underneath the little duck is paddling like hell to keep moving forward.

Whoever said "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a straight out jackass.  Words linger like a memory especially when they tumble out of someone's mouth and sting..words that are everything to the contrary of what you thought to be "real".

Memories...most of mine are happy, cheery memories that are as much a part of me and who I am as yours are to you.  Sometimes, they hang around like an unwanted cold and spatter molecules of things better off left in that dark closet or blown into a Kleenex.  You see, people change, things change, life changes, but memories stay the same.  It was something real at a point in time, whether that be good, bad or indifferent.  You simply have to stop pacing in front of the closet, grab that memory out, shake it up good and stick it back where it belongs.  In the past.  The past isn't going where you are, nor is whoever was in the memory (most likely).

The future is where you're going and those memories need to go.  Eventually, you stop pacing in front of the closet, choosing not to grab the memory and instead leave it.  Because it's simple, they will never change, they're always going to be there.  It's time to eliminate the reminders of those memories so you don't have to paddle so darn fast under water.  It's okay not to be calm all the time.  It's okay to shed a tear or two or three.  It's okay because it's better to feel than to not feel.  Never let anyone tell you otherwise.

People change.  Let them.  When someone shows you who they are the first time, believe it.  Not everyone is going to care about you the way you care about them.  Maybe they do in their own way, but you can't change that...leave them a memory.  

Love

Once upon a time there was an island where all the feelings lived; happiness, sadness, knowledge, vanity, richness and all the others, including Love. 

One day it was announced to all of the feelings that the island was going to sink to the bottom of the ocean. So all the feelings prepared their boats to leave. Love was the only one that stayed. She wanted to preserve the island paradise until the last possible moment. When the island was almost totally under, Love decided it was time to leave. She began looking for someone to ask for help. 

Just then Richness was passing by in a grand boat. Love asked, "Richness, Can I come with you on your boat?"  Richness answered, " I'm sorry, but there is a lot of silver and gold on my boat and there would be no room for you anywhere." Love understood.

Then Love decided to ask Vanity for help who was passing in a beautiful vessel.  Love cried out, "Vanity, help me please."  "I can't help you", Vanity said, "You are all wet and will damage my beautiful boat."  Love understood.

Next, Love saw Sadness passing by. Love said, "Sadness, please let me go with you." 
Sadness answered, "Love, I'm sorry, but, I just need to be alone now."  Love understood only too well.

Then, Love saw Happiness.  Love cried out, " Happiness, please take me with you." But Happiness was so overjoyed that he didn't hear Love calling to him. Love began to cry, but understood.

Then, Love heard a voice say, "Come Love, I will take you with me." It was an elder. Love felt so blessed and overjoyed that she forgot to ask the elder his name. When they arrived on land the elder went on his way. Love realized how much she owed the elder. 

Love then found Knowledge and asked, "Who was it that helped me?" "It was Time", Knowledge answered. 

"But why did Time help me when no one else would?", Love asked. 

Knowledge smiled and with deep wisdom and sincerity, answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how great Love is."

Bucket List

When time is at a minimum (free time) I wish for more time and to keep me pushing along this weekend on things I have to do, I took a minute to think of a few things I really want to do.  Maybe I will and maybe not, but that's what a list is all about, right?  Instilling just a bit of hope.

Venture out on a safari somewhere like Amboseli, Kenya and actually spend three months wandering with purpose and quite possibly with purpose.  Clean water mission.

Travel by camel even if it's just across a road.

Live with passion once more because passion endures a lifetime even as a memory.

Have a passport and use it positively

Jump off a plane in the air

with a parachute, of course.

Live a life with love really.

I find it interesting that in the book of Ecclesiastes, the only practical advice given about living a meaningful life is to find a job you like, enjoy your marriage, and obey God. It’s as though God is saying, “Write a good story; take somebody with you, and let me help.” I know that one day, I’ll tell all of my stories to God and I bet he’ll laugh. He’ll remind me of the parts I forgot, and then he’ll explain what it all means as we sit and remember my story together. We get one story, you and I, and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting, the climax and the resolution, and all we need to do is fill in the story. In that case, it would be a crime not to venture out, now wouldn’t it?

Everything Happens For A Reason: Breaking Down The Hash tag #hashtaguse

Everything Happens For A Reason: Breaking Down The Hash tag #hashtaguse: Hash tags have taken on a life of their own on Twitter and has recently gained momentum on other social media sites such as Facebook, Insta...

Breaking Down The Hash tag #hashtaguse

Hash tags have taken on a life of their own on Twitter and has recently gained momentum on other social media sites such as Facebook, Instagram, Vine, Reddit, Snap Chat and, well, you get the picture.  However, I'm over 50 so I need to ask my kids how to use a "hash tag".  Here's what I got from them:   "Mom, never, ever use a hash tag, it's stupid."   So much for an explanation.  So, it set out to do a bit of my own investigation.  After all, if it has a valid use for social media or business, I at least want to understand.  So, here it is in terms a 50 something can grasp.

Origin of the Hash Tag:  Apparently started on Twitter.  It actually has a valid use other than to further enunciate whatever post a person has strong feelings about (example:  Monday stinks #Mondaystinks).   On Twitter, if you tweeted that example, you just created a searchable link and should be able to search for everyone who feels "Monday stinks".  

How to post a Hash Tag:  Pretty simple, at the end of your status or post, it's the # (pound sign) followed by a group of words that sum up your post (no spaces).  Numbers can be used in a hash tag.  There you have it, a searchable link.  Apparently, hash tags are not case sensitive so proper capitalization/grammar rules don't apply.  However, if you want to differentiate words you can post #AmericanSniper but the results will be the same as #americansniper.  No punctuation marks like commas, periods, exclamation marks.

How to actually make some good use of a Hash Tag?  I still wasn't convinced until I gave it a try myself.  If you are posting about a movie or television show, the hash tag will group your post into a searchable link allowing you to join in a conversation of others with similar likes and interests.  Example:

American Sniper was a great movie, and a must see!
#americansniper

There is a lot of posting on social media right now about this recently released movie.  If you are interested in some of the posts, opinions and conversations taking place (even with those starring in and involved in the movie personally) this will guide you to a lot of that information.

Where to use a Hash Tag?  Twitter is the birthplace of the Hash Tag and can be useful on Twitter to see trends (see popular trends and hash tags on image above). The Twitter feed actually curates a list of Hash Tags that are trending or popular and you can actually review these.

Other social media sites that are beginning to use Hash Tags include Facebook, Instagram, Google+, Pinterest and Tumblr.  If you are really curious as to which hash tags are really trending or popular or "hot" a website called hashtag.org will provide more information.

Beyond that, have some fun with the hash tag and you may even find it useful in business.  Tweeting trends, articles, blogs, sales, promotions, upsells will actually create a searchable link for that item so it is valuable in business.  

From my perspective, in the over 50 crowd, hash tags sound like a way to organize your tweets or social media posts quite easily.  It may, in fact, be one of the easiest things I can organize in my life.  Go figure.   It can also help you craft your voice when you want to be a part of a larger discussion (think political rants, current events, news, sports) and help your posts (or rather your voice) to be heard by some pretty important people directly involved.  That's easier than writing a letter to your senator.  Except these days, you can find your senator on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and "tweet" directly to them.

#howtouseaHashTag
#hashtaguse
#hashtagrules
#lovehashtags
#becomeatopinfluencerusinghashtags

Everything Happens For A Reason: The Art or Etiquette of Text Messaging

Everything Happens For A Reason: The Art or Etiquette of Text Messaging: My mother is 84-years-old and for her birthday she wants an iPad, not a little one, a big one, so she can surf the Internet.  She just mast...